ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙʟᴜᴇ 💙 ᴄʜᴀɴɢʟɪX

8

Chapter Song Suggestion: Brother - Kodaline

Jisung ran his hands down his face. The thin line holding Changbin together was about to snap. "You're my brother. You know? There's never going to be anyone that takes that spot from you," he whispered in reassurence. He didn't know if people could really hear you while in a coma. If they could, Jisung wanted Changbin to know that he was special. "I'll take care of Felix the best I can for you. I'm sorry we didn't get to do everything we ever wanted."

"Hey, I'm Han Jisung and I'm going to be a super awesome Pro racer like Lee Kyung someday," a brown-haired kid announced passionately to a class full of new peers. Everyone gave him bored looks. Some of the girls even laughed at him, mumbling on about something he was too far out of range to hear. Six-year-old Jisung cowered in fear at the other children. Their eyes mocked him. It was intimidating. "Yah! Shut up. Don't make the newbie cry. I'll kill you," a boy shouted as he entered the room. He had tousled hair and a few smears of lipstick on the side of his cheek from his mother. He tried to act like a threatening gangsters in a drama. Because of his height, the others just rolled their eyes at him. They thought of him as obnoxious.
Jisung thought he was cool though. He stood up to them without fear. He admired that. The boy walked up and gave a wide grin filled with confidence. "I'm Seo Changbin. You wanna be a racer?" Jisung answered him with a rapid nod. "Well, I want to be a racer's mechanic. Let's be a team someday, Hannie," he said.
That was the beginning of The Seo-Han duo. Through out elementary school they did nothing but explore the world of cars together. They showed off their hotwheels, raced legos cars built up from scratch, and even carved out their own vehicles from wood in arts and crafts with the help of their teachers. Everyone called them stupid. Cars were boring. They weren't cool. Changbin and Jisung didn't let their words sway them. Nothing was cooler than cars.
In middle school they bought as many shows and movies as they could. Every birthday they celebrated was in relation to their favorite thing in the world. The two were obsessed. Even on the first day of highschool they introduced themselves as the Hanseome racers. A pun they had put together with their last names. Once again they were outcasts. They didn't care. That's when they met Chris.
Chris was a foreigner from Australia with good grades and tons of friends. His dad had a fancy car and of course Jisung and Changbin had to catch an up close glimpse at it during a parent-teacher meeting. When caught by Chris and his father, they nerded out about the tires and interior. To which Chris responded with: I'll take you out in it sometime, yeah?
But even though their life was kept up with cars, there was so much more to Changbin and Jisung's friendship. They shared dreams that connected, sure, but even deeper was their connection.
"Changbin, I think my parent's are going to kill me," a fifteen-year-old Jisung whispered.
"They already want to kill you for a lot of reasons. Be more specific," was Changbin's response as he filled out answers to his science homework with ease.
"I think I like guys."
Changbin peered over to his friend who was throwing darts up at the board on Changbin's ceiling. "You think?"
Jisung turned his head and met his best friend's gaze. "I don't know what attraction is supposed to feel like. You're the one that's older, asshole."
The sixteen-year-old closed his eyes with a sigh. "It's simple. You think they're cute, hot, or anything in between. What the hell are you having trouble with," he asked, spinning around in his chair to face Jisung. "Name your celebrity crushes."
"Ryan Reynolds-"
"I heard Ryan Reynolds," a fluffy haired blonde joked, peeking his head inside the room. "Are you talking about my favorite man in existence without me?"
The two boys stared at Chris for a moment before ignoring him completely. "Ryan Reynolds, John Legend, Tom Cruise, Lee Jongsuk. Oh, not really a celebrity but have you seen Lee Kyung's son? He's pretty cute. Pretty sad the media won't release his name though. Apparently he lives in Japan now."
"Oh, we are talking about how gay Jisung is," Chris mumbled, suddenly uninterested in the topic. He collasped onto Changbin's bed and pulled out his phone. The two younger boys looked over to their older friend. Chris took a minute to realize their stares. "What?"
"Am I that obvious?" Jisung whined, hiding his red face in the beanbag he sat in. Beanbags were all the rage then.
"You unconsiously act like a gay guy. I just assumed you were and didn't know yet," Changbin answered.
"Why can't you be normal people and tease me when I check people out?" Jisung asked, slamming his fist into the fabric. "People probably think I'm gross!"
"There's nothing gross about it. Screw the people that think so. Also, I thought it was pretty obvious. I mean, we are men. Our dick pretty much speaks for us," Chris told the youngest.
"Not if you've never gotten aroused by anyone," Jisung whispered.
Changbin burst out laughing at his friends shy state. "Oh my god, you've never gotten it up thinking about someone?"
"Not everyone's a pervert like you, Changbin," Chris remarked. "Plus, he's fifteen. You didn't know you were into men until last year."
The pencil in Changbin's hand snapped, ears slowing growing into a bloody colored red. "I'm not!" he yelped.
Chris gave him a knowing look and let out a casual, "bro." He then proceeded to lift his pillow which hid car magazines underneath. Mixed inside were pictures of girls with shorts. On every few pages there were taped in pictures of celeb men. Changbin shot up from his seat and tackled Chris, fighting him for the book.
Jisung, in the meanwhile, looked up Lee Kyung's son on the web. He didn't care about Changbin liking guys. It wasn't interesting to him. "Imagine dating a guy like him," he whispered to himself. He was so cute. All the pictures were pixilated because of the horrible camera quality. Even still, he knew what Lee Kyung looked like. He was burned into his memory. Therefore, Lee Kyung's son had to be just as attractive if not more. "You can't crush on Kyung and his son," Changbin said playfully as he finished his wrestling match with Chris.
"I can't have a crush on a dead guy either," Jisung retorted.
"Says you. Bro, Elvis presley is hot as fuck."
Chris gagged and rolled himself up in a blanket. "Jisung run before you get infected with his disgusting taste in everything. What kind of man likes Elvis, math, and science. I can't believe I'm friends with you hooligans."

Jisung hesitently took his friends hand into his own. The same hand he'd clapped after every successful race. He let the tears roll down while he bit his lip. "I know that there's no chance you'll wake up. I know that your main reason to wake up is Felix. If you can hear me though, can't you grant me one last wish? You made everything I ever wanted come true up until now. You got me to race, you helped me find myself, but I haven't gotten my third wish. You're my genie, right? My last wish is for you to finish off your life at a late age with me and the others. I want to race you. I need my brother Changbin. Don't let our years working up to this point be in vain."
Jisung felt Changbin's hand twitch in his grasp. It had happened before. The doctors said it was normal. Like how a lizards tail wiggled when cut off its body. He didn't let it bother him and continued talking. "Please come back to us. We need you, Blue," he spoke softly. He used Changbin's old nickname with affection. "I need you."
A tighter, yet still weak, grip on his hand startled Jisung. He looked up with hope filling his chest. Changbin's eyes peeled open slowly, though stopped and immediately closed at the illumination of the room. He squeezed them tightly shut, the monitor beeping loudly as his heart beat raced. Jisung choked on his tears. Changbin let out a barely audible mumble. Jisung couldn't decipher it. It sounded like gibberish. "Changbin?" he called in question. The nurses suddenly sped into the room, taking Jisung by the shoulders as gently as possible so that they could move him out of the room. He watched Changbin's head go limp against the pillow. Was he dying? Was he awake? Which one was it? Had he come back to say his last goodbye? What about Felix? "That's my best friend. He's awake, right? Is he going to leave me again? I need to be by his side!"
The nurses sat him down in the hallway and talked him through his anxiety attack. They were good at it. They had seen too many similiar situations, most likely. Jisung managed to pull out his phone and dial Minho's number. When he picked up, Jisung whispered out of breath, "Changbin."
Minho instantly got up. Jisung could tell by the loud sound of tools dropping to the floor. "Hey, baby, it's okay. I'm on my way. Breathe with me, okay?"
Jisung whimpered into his hands. He was scared. They kept telling him it would be fine. Would it really? They wouldn't tell him if he was dying or not. When Minho arrived a nurse pulled him aside. He tried to tell her that he needed to see Jisung, but she insisted he listen to what she had to say. He did so. Then his arms fell to his side and tears allowed themselves out of their home. He stood there for a moment before snapping out of it and rushing to his boyfriend.
Minho cupped the mans face with one hand and rubbed his arm. "I'm scared, Minho," Jisung told him.
Minho hummed, and pressed his forehead against Jisung's. "It's okay, everything's okay. He's awake, Jisung. He's okay," he forced out of his throat. Jisung started crying louder, resulting in Minho pulling him into his body. Everyone must've thought they were insane. Two crying men sitting on the floor in each other's arms. "It's all fine. It's going to be fine, Jisung," he assured his boyfriend. He did so for himself as well. "He's alive."
The two couldn't see him until a few hours later when he had rested and gotten used to his surroundings. When they could, Jisung headed into the room with a stomach full of nerves. Changbin wasn't propped up. He was lying like he had been before. The only difference was that he was staring up at the ceiling. His eyes were open.
"Changbin?" Jisung whispered.
The man lifted his head just as much as he could. His eyes met his best friends. Jisung thought he would cry. Maybe he would curse him. He didn't. Changbin gave the same wide grin filled with confidence he had given to Jisung on the day they first met. "Are we there yet, brother?" he joked. Jisung ran over to his bed and wrapped his arms around Changbin, soaking his shirt with salted water. Changbin always made jokes. That only made Jisung cry harder. Changbin hadn't been napping during a road trip. That trip he was joking about was his ride to heaven. "Hey Minho. Can you grab something from the glovebox in my car?"
The racer tightened his throat so he didn't let a crack in his voice develop. "Don't worry. He's been wearing it since the day after the accident."