serotonin

chapter thirty

dear cass,
barely 2 days apart and
i'm back at your place
- lauren <3

dear paulina,
YOURE BACK
- lauren

___________

i laid atop the monkey bars, phone buzzing non-stop. i let it be and just stared at the sky. clouds came and gone. some of them looks like weirdly shaped animals, but they soon deformed into blobs.

it was spring.

the nineteenth of april, to be exact.

it wasn't too cold but it wasn't hot out either. to me it was the perfect weather. i could wear hoodies and jeans and not necessarily over heat but still wear a short sleeve and not freeze. needless to say i opt for the hoodie option.

my phone was still going off against my chest but i just continued to listen to my music and ignored it. 'here comes the sun' by the beatles was playing in my earbuds. i sighed and closed my eyes.

things were actually going good, like actually.

laura was kicked out roughly two-ish weeks ago and things are finally getting back to normal. cass and i are still the same. payton still picks me (and jack) up at night to go get food and smoke. dad and i have an even stronger relationship. jack is still helping me with maths. the footie season has been getting off to a great start with three wins and a tie. the whiteboard in my room says that it's been around five months since i punched a hole in my wall.

all in all, these past two weeks have just been, good.

today's been a little off but it's always been a bitter-sweet one. on the nineteenth of april dad, cass and i normally spend time together put these last three years we haven't. when dad got a promotion he was always in meetings or something. this year i was expecting to do what we've done the past few years but i guess i was wrong.

my phone buzzed once more until i finally picked it up. i had three messages from cass, two miss calls from payton. one message from james, asking if i wanted to get a late lunch with him and dom. three miss calls from jack and one call from dad.

james : 'hey! dom and i haven't seen you in a bit. payton says things have been nuts. you wanna get a late lunch with me and dom? jack can come too"

i messaged back right away.

me : 'sorry only saw this now!'

me : 'but yeah of course. let me know where, i'll get jack and we can be there in an hour or so'

i closed my phone again and let the music run through my ears. 'what i like about you' by the romantics came on right after the beatles and i smiled. my eyes fluttered shut and i just let myself lay across the monkey bars.

my phone began to ring again. i decided to actually look at at it this time. it was jack, again. i let it go to voicemail before i heard his voice come from my right "wow! no answer again? i feel hurt!" i sat up and let my legs fall off the side.

jack had black sunglasses on. his brown hair slight wavy and a little messy. he had what looked to be some sunflower on his off white shirt. he had on... my beige... pants and some really fucking dirty white converse. he really needs to wash them.

he took the sun glasses off when he got close enough and smiled "have you been here all morning?"

"yeah, why?"

"you weren't there when i woke up this morning"

"sorry?" i offered. he just smiled and climbed up on the playground. i moved down a bit so jack could sit properly. instead he leaned back against one of the plastic walls and pulled me back between his legs "your dad was kind of worried, cass too"