serotonin

chapter thirty two

dear cass,
locker buddies again?
- lauren

dear paulina,
another chapter!!
it's almost done :(
- sad lauren

warning - talk of suicide and depression

___________

i rolled over to shield my eye from the sun. jack was facing me, his face looked peaceful when he was sleeping. the light hit his face in just the right spots so his feature became much more prominent. he looked pretty. well he always looks pretty but this morning was next level.

i heard a light knock on the door "come in" i whispered loud enough for the person to hear but quiet enough so jack didn't wake up. cass walked into my room with a small smile on her face, i returned it knowing what day it was.

"morning" she whispered.

"morning"

"dad got called into work for some meeting, he'll meet us there when he's done" i nodded my head, looking down at jack. i brushed some of his hair out of his face before looking back up to cass "i have a job interview so i'll just meet you there after okay?"

"alright, good luck by the way"

"thanks" she smiled before leaving the room. the sound of the door closing woke jack up. he groaned and pushed his head into my chest, getting away from the sun light. i laughed for a moment before speaking "good morning to you too, my love"

i felt jack smile "i like when you call me that"

"yeah?"

"mhm" he nodded, he looked up at me and it made my stomach twist. it does that all the time, my stomach that is, it twists and flips with joy anytime his stupidly adorable brown puppy eyes make contact with my own eyes. i pressed my forehead against his. our noses ever so slightly knocked against each other.

i could get used to this.

"so could i" i was taken back by his comment "you know when people say speak your mind sometimes they don't mean literally"

"oh shut up, i meant to do that!"

"i'm going to kiss you now" i hummed in agreement and let him find his way to me. he pressed his lips into mine with a smile. it wasn't much of a kiss as we both couldn't contain our smiles.

after another twenty or so minutes of being lazy and sneaking kisses every so often we got up and made our way downstairs. the house was quiet as per usual. it's something that over time has become either unusual or calm for me. spending half my time at jacks house with his three sisters and all the noise just became normal for me. coming back into my quiet house always felt off until i got used to both at the same time.

i opened the fridge and took out the lemonade. i paused to look at the calendar that hung on the fridge. some things were crossed off. 'finals' was written twice on the calendar. one scribbled out from last week and the other for this coming friday. the match has been cancelled due to the god awful amount of rain that day. normally we'd play but it was so dangerous that they cancelled it.

during the day finals was supposed to happen, it had been about a week and a bit since harry, ben, alex and adam had found out there was something going on between us. now it's been about two-ish weeks. harry had calmed down for the most part but when finals was postponed he tried to blame jack and i. luckily ben and adam talked some sense into him while alex apologized.

harry and i were never really friends. we were just on the same footie team and had the same friends. it's not like we hated each other, we just had a mutual understanding that we only hang out because of the team. i've never willingly talked to him on my own and neither has he. but i didn't think he'd beat me (and jack) up over finals being postponed because jack and i were dating within the team.