[Book I] Winter Falls [ENG]

Chapter 12: Lonely

TW: slight mention of depression and suicidal thoughts

Timeline : Wednesday to Thursday, November

Enjoy !

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Jeongin was nervously going around in circle in his little apartment. He glanced frantically at the door, which was locked, and then at the bay window that gave to his small balcony. The thick curtains were drawn, allowing only a small amount of light to pass through. The room was almost completely in the dark, despite the radiant morning.

He fiddled his hands. He had to keep busy before continuing to dig a trench. He glanced at the worn floor. It wasn't visible to the human eye, especially with the darkness, but Jeongin knew it was metaphorically there. The wear of his steps. He always did the same pattern when he was nervous.

And he was always nervous.

It killed him to keep that habit, but he couldn't get away from it.

The young man went into the kitchen, looking for something to do. His eyes immediately found a dirty bowl in the sink, while his brain told him to hurry up and clean it.

He did so, cleaning it up in a jiffy, before finding himself again in search of something to do.

His gaze fell on his only indoor plant, which lay in a pot, close to the bay window. Jeongin didn't really know what kind of plant it was. He had bought it one day on a whim as he walked past the store, as the leaves were holed. It reminded him of who he was.

He approached the poor plant, observing how bad it looked. The leaves no longer had these pretty green colors and they pointed downwards, as if it were making head. Nervously, he went to get a glass of water to water it. Perhaps it was thirsty?

He poured water into the dirt, observing the plant a little longer.

"I'm sorry, Jo'... even you, I can't keep you alive."

He quickly stroked one of the leaves between his fingers.

What did he think of when he bought this poor plant? He already couldn't take care of himself properly...

The ringing of his phone startled him. His heart suddenly began to beat furiously. Jeongin approached the phone, seeing Seungmin's name displayed on the incoming call. Breathing deeply, he took the aircraft with a trembling hand. His nervousness reached its peak when he stalled.

"Hello?" He babbled.

"Jeongin? I'm at the foot of your building. I'll wait for you."

"I- Okay. I-"

"Take your time, okay? I can wait five minutes if you need it."

"O-Okay. I'm coming..."

Seungmin hung up and the youngest let out a long breath. He went to put the glass in the kitchen before observing his apartment.

The photographer had finally developed the photos he had told him about last week. Naturally, he had proposed to Jeongin to see in preview the small exhibition he had made for his teacher. That made the student nervous all morning.

With his shoes on, he grabbed his coat, his schoolbag, and his keys. He approached the door before grabbing the handle. His hands were shaking so much.

For a moment, the thought of returning a message to cancel crossed his mind, but he shook his head to get it out. He wanted to... He wanted to see the photos. Moreover, Seungmin had been only kind and understanding with him. He didn't deserve to stand him up at the last minute just because he was freaking out.