[Book I] Winter Falls [ENG]

Chapter 36: Last chance

Hey!!!!!!!!! Interesting chapter today ;) I hope you enjoy!

TW: harassment (mention), suicide (slight mention)

Timeline: Sunday to Tuesday, December

Enjoy!

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Clic.

Clac.

Clic.

Clac.

The little lights of the garlands turned on and off, reflecting pretty colors on the walls and ceilings of the student room. They turned off again, leaving only the faded color of the wall. Then they turn on again.

Seungmin, lying on his bed, was staring at the ceiling. He kept pressing the switch of his light garlands repeatedly. He desperately needed to keep his hands busy, while his mind was still spinning.

It was Sunday. It had been seven days. And Jeongin still hadn't contacted him.

He didn't know what to think. The situation made him upset, desperate and sad. He told Chan that he was okay with the younger one not responding to his message. But it was a lie. Just a sentence to reassure the elder, and try to reassure himself at the same time.

No, he wasn't okay with that. He wanted Jeongin to answer his message. He wanted him back. However, he couldn't force him.

Clic.

Clac.

He was in love. And forced separation hurt.

Seungmin didn't even dare to imagine the worst. What if Jeongin never wanted to see him again? What if he decided they couldn't be friends anymore? He thought he might cry over it just to think about it. His heart was tightening at the thought, as he tried to think of something else.

All he wanted was to be able to speak freely to the young man. Just be with him. Even if he was just a friend.

He thought about it, after talking to Chan.

In case Jeongin came back to him. Or if Seungmin could catch him at the corner of a corridor to talk to him. Then he would tell him.

He would confess his feelings to Jeongin. He obviously didn't expect anything in return, but he needed to tell him.

Maybe he would been raked, and if he did, that would be fine. And this time, it wasn't a lie to reassure himself. It would be fine if, at the very least, he could stay with Jeongin. His friendship was all he wanted.

To be able to talk to him, to listen to him, to see him smile. It was the most important thing for him. It didn't matter whether his feelings were returned or not.

Then he'd tell him.

But for that, he had to find Jeongin first. And it turned out to be the most complicated thing in this story.

The youngest did seem determined to avoid him. Not responding to his message was one thing. Avoiding him desperately in college was another. If he rushed out of class, it left very little room for the art student to try to talk to him.

Despite what Chan had advised him, he wanted to try to see him. Try to talk to him.

Because he knew that the young man had just panicked. And that he had simply stayed on a fixed idea. For him, repelling the problem was simpler than treating it. Avoiding Seungmin was simpler than accepting to have told him.

Seungmin sighed, finally letting go of the lights switch. He stood up to sit against his headboard.

He had to find a way to catch him.