[Book I] Winter Falls [ENG]

Chapter 53: Like all the other

Hey! Finally, I got home early, so I'm posting it a little ahead of what I said :3 So... How can we say that from here on, the story took a slight turn that was not foreseen at the beginning of the story >< Please read the TW carefully. I didn't put any signs in the chapter, because it's not graphic, but proceed with caution if the subject can trigger you. If you ever think there is a need for signs in the chapter, don't hesitate to leave me a comment about it, I will edit the chapter!

TW: anxiety, suicide/attempted suicide (not graphic), self-mutilation (suggested)

Timeline: Saturday, January

Enjoy your reading!

(I'm sorry:))

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Hyunjin's awakening was smooth. He regained consciousness gradually, emerging from a pleasant dream. It was warm under the duvet, his back snuggled against Chan's side. The events of the day before, returned to him little by little, making him smile gently. He moved slightly. He wasn't in pain, hardly a slight discomfort. Chan had taken his time to prepare him, and although at the time he had wanted to tear his fingers off, he was grateful in the early morning.

The young man slightly blinked. He breathed out slowly, enjoying the comfort that the room brought him, only lit by the dim light that passed between the curtains drawn of Chan's room. It was nice. And it was even better knowing that he no longer saw it as just a friend.

Restraining himself from jumping with joy, the young man turned gently into the bed. He expected to find a sleeping Chan. However, he was confronted with the fact that the other man was awake.

The blond was lying on his back with his eyes fixed on the stars, on his ceiling. The tension in his body was undeniable.

He seemed to have been up all night.

Hyunjin refrained from wincing. Immediately, he blamed himself for having slept while Chan remained awake. He knew it was silly to feel guilty about it. But he would have preferred to be there for him.

Who knew what was going on in his head all night?

Knowing him, not much good.

Hyunjin turned completely, snuggling up against Chan's chest. He passed his hand over his bare chest, enjoying the warmth of his skin and the muscles rolling under his fingers. Then he get up to his face, caressing his cheek.

"Hey." He gently said.

A slight grimace appeared on the eldest's face. He turned his head slightly to meet Hyunjin's gaze.

"You look like you haven't slept all night." The youngest said.

"Hum... Kind of."

Hyunjin watched him for a moment before sitting properly on the bed. He could feel the tension and discomfort surrounding him. He suddenly felt vulnerable, sitting in his boxer, on Chan's bed. He didn't know what had happened that night in his head, but anticipation won him over. A weight took place in his chest, leaving a furrow of nervousness and discomfort in him.

"Why?" He whispered. "What's going on?"

Chan glanced at him and sat down. A long sigh left his lips. He seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Hyunjin didn't understand.

"I think... we shouldn't have done that..."

Chan's voice was small. Hardly a whisper, but similar to a cry resounding in the silence of the room. For a moment, the brunette wondered if he had heard correctly. If the words said by Chan had the same meaning as he had understood. Then the realization made its way in his mind. Misunderstanding gained him, quickly joined by nervousness, fear and self-loathing.