Okay. Warning: that was the most insane family I have ever met.
Ever heard of great things come in small packages? The house itself was small, but when you’re a God everything else is small. I made my wings disappear despite how well they suited my physique. Eight packs are very rare and need wings to show them off. Everything seemed totally normal as I chased her up the drive. The minute I entered however….
“Mom, I’m home,” she screamed over the blaring TV.
“In the kitchen, dear,” came the reply.
On our way to the kitchen, we passed a man pigged out in front of the TV, cradling a soda in his hands. I wonder how he managed to remain so slim. He smiled at her and then he saw me. His face morphed into a mask of rage and then went blank. He pretended to turn back towards the TV but his eyes never left my face. What a creep!
“Hi Dad,” she screamed and passed without waiting for a comment. I had no idea what to do. Millennia of experience hadn’t prepared me for this. Till the 21st century, people used fall head over heals to welcome me into their homes and were usually more than happy to let me date their daughters. Only now, if I even look at their daughters, they want to kill me. Humans. When will they learn that no one cuter than me will ever date their daughters?
I just followed her into the kitchen. A stressed out middle aged woman was busy cutting the crusts off sandwiches.
“Mom, this is Cupid,” said the girl.
Too late. I just realized that I didn’t know her name. Great.
Her mother extended her hand. Thank me that it wasn’t the one with the knife. I bowed and kissed it. Straightening up, I said, “You never told me you had such a lovely sister.”
Her mother drew back her hand and giggled. The girl rolled her eyes.
“Mom, you just fell for the most common and lame excuse in the book.”
“Diana, you finally brought a boy home!!! Yay!!! I’m so excited!!”
You could here the exclamations in the woman’s speech. Diana, though. A fitting name. The girl seemed incapable of loving anyone.
The girl just groaned and made her way over to a high chair where a baby was busy playing with dough. “And how is my baby brother today?” she crooned.
Wow. Dragons can be gentle. She lifted him up wrinkling her nose slightly.
“I should go,” I said, recognizing the danger signs. Too late again.
“You can help me change him,”she said.
Wincing, I followed her to the diaper station. Moments later I was holding a dirty diaper in my hands. First bags, now diapers. She has got to understand at some point that I like women in my arms better than I like bags or diapers. Not that I like the diapers.
After trashing the very smelly diaper, I made as if to leave. At that point, her mother said, “At least stay for a snack. It is the least I could do after you helped change Alex.”
Diana shook her head behind her mother, frantically mouthing NO. Her father was still in front of the TV. Her mother saw the direction of my gaze and said, “Oh, don’t worry about him, he’s just grumpy.”
What the heck, revenge is sweet.
“Of course,” I grinned.
YOU ARE READING
Cupid's Bow Breaks
HumorHey, I'm Cupid. And this is my personal diary, so keep your prying nose out of it. Or I'll have to incinerate you. Well I've just met this girl, and I kinda like her. I know what you're thinking. It's probably easy for me to get this girl, I just ha...
