My reoccurring dreams Vol. II

Filler

"How long y'all been a thing?" He asked. "Umm a few months I think." I said, realizing I had never really thought about it. "Mm so was he always like this towards you or did it start recently?" He asked. "I mean technically he's always been like that..." I said giving it thought, "but he had never been so sloppy about it until like now.." He shook his head as he poured himself a drink. "That's foul as fuck you know that right?" He said, "Seriously, he should be happy you still wit him to be honest." I felt bad about myself a little bit. I was enabling it which is why he kept doing it. I also felt bad because he wasn't a bad person but the way it sounds makes it hard to believe. "He's not a bad person. He just does bad stuff sometimes." I said.

"He'd be a dumbass to not come lookin' for you.." he said, holding my chin up, "otherwise he might not get you back." I suddenly felt upset when I heard him say that. "Don't say that. He's not even all that bad." I said, snatching his hand off me. He rolled his eyes as he rested his face on his hand. "Okay fine. He might not be all bad but is it enough good to look past the fuck shit he be doin'?" He said. "Well..." I said trying to be honest with myself. "So no? Right." He said sipping from his cup. "You wouldn't understand." I said folding my arms. I suddenly realized how stupid I was being. I don't know what was worse, the fact that I couldn't bring myself to stop or the fact that I still thought I was getting something out the situation.

"Okay okay, he said he loves you right?" He asked. "Yeah sometimes.." I said lowly. "Sometimes? What the fuck is sometimes, when y'all fuckin'?" He asked. I didn't want to answer that when I realized how fucked up it was. "Christa that ain't how love work you know that right?" He said sounding concerned.  "I never said it was." I said firmly. "Well then if you know that then why stay?" He asked. I realized I didn't have a good reason. Like even when I thought really hard I couldn't even come up with one. "I don't know. But it's really none of your business." I said getting an attitude.

He took the rest of drink to the head and looked me dead in the face. "I know you feel like he need you but he's suckin' the life outta you." He said, "You deserve much more than that." I felt myself getting upset again. I didn't even know why I was so upset when he was right.  However I realized that he could've been going after me because the situation I was in was convenient for him. "Well you're no better than him.." I said lowly. "How come?" He said getting closer to my face. "You're using it against me so I can stay here with you right?" I asked. He chuckled and backed me into a corner. "I don't gotta say nothin' to make you leave nobody. You gon' do what you wanna do regardless of what I say." He said grabbing my hands. "But I know you want me to. That's why you brought it up, cause I leave tomorrow." I said as my face felt hot.

"I don't care about you leavin' cause I know you coming back." He said pressing his forehead against mine. "I'm not stupid." I said to him. "I know you not.." He said inching closer to my lips, "And you right, I do want you to stay here but I'm not gon' make you, and I ain't gon' beg you to either." I felt myself trying to back away but realized I couldn't. He kissed me, getting a little aggressive as he felt me trying to reject it. He pulled away from me and let my hands go. I got mad at myself cause I realized why he didn't take me seriously. I also realized why ***** didn't take me seriously either.