Life smells like death

Chapter 8

Silence. Dead silence.
And Hyunjin now wished to be like that silence, dead.
No one dared to say anything.
Guilt flashing on their eyes.

Silence except of the white noise the monitor created. A soft beeping sound on display, showing Felix's vitals were alright and at the same time giving some comfort to the friend group.
Minho, was the first to break that silence.

"I'm- I'm going to the bathroom."

He is Felix's boyfriend. He wanted the best for him as a lover and as a friend. He really forgot that Hyunjin was his best friend. He really accused him of... comiting a crime against Felix and put the blame on his partner in crime.

Minho felt so guilty. So, so guilty.
How shity of a friend had he been?
He had shouted at Hyunjin for not trying enough and not being enough and not working enough just because of his own nerve wrecking anxiety, all of that while his friend was so incredibly sick, once again, and he hid it from them.

Had they been so bad towards him that he didn't trust them?
Had they pushed him too far, to make him think as if he was a burden?
Did Hyunjin want to die?

The more his mind started to fill with thoughts and speculations, the more nauseous he felt.

Having reached his rock bottom Minho lurched forward grabbing the lead of the toilet, his stomach's contents hitting the water with force. He felt as if his throat would rip off his body while tears made their way out of his tired eyes and a hand softly came into contact with his back, rubbing it slowly, waiting for him to be done.

"It's okay hyung... take your time. It will be okay."

"Hyunjin...?"

"Yes, it is me. Don't worry, take your time, everything will be fine."

"I should be the one saying that-"

"Shhh, it's okay. Everything is okay."

Minho swiftly turned around and fell into Hyunjin's arms, crying, sobbing, mourning, weeping for something that could potentially happen, something he never wanted to happen, something he wished to never witness.

Hyunjin, dying.

"It's okay hyung."

"I didn't know. I didn't know... I'm sorry... I didn't know."

"It's okay hyung... it's okay... nobody did... nobody."

...

"H-he has c-cancer?"

"Yes... I- I uh was the first to find out, I don't know about you Han. I had noticed he seemed off and some times as if he was in pain, also after the incident with him not being able to wake up... I got more suspicious to say the least. Then I noticed his new habit to leave from the apartment without saying anything for hours, so one day I decided to see where he actually goes. He took a taxi that I followed and soon stopped in front of a hospital. He made his way in there and so did I. At one point I lost him in the crowd so I had to ask for him. The receptionist told me the floor, so I made my way there only to realise I was in the floor where chemotherapy happens. I paled and searched each room looking for Hyunjin, till I found him. He wasn't in treatment, he was just discussing about the next steps he and his doctors would take. He saw me and wr had a long conversation right after. Since then I promised him to keep my mouth shut and of course to help him. That's how I knew about his health before any of you did."

"What type of... of it does he have?"

"I don't know if I can say-"

"I have glioblastoma, which I knew about before my hiatus."

"No, you're lying? Why do you have it again? Why? You said- you said you were safe!"

"I know hyung. I know."