𝐼 𝑔𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.

7

Cheryls pov:

I was alone in my room reading a book and training to focus on the lines...
I felt my thoughts always mix, and I had to read the lines repeatedly. I didn't concentrate.

I don't know exactly where they are, but I decided to put my book aside and take a little break for my head. I gently dropped my head against the wall of my bed and closed my eyes. I breathed a few breaths and opened my eyes again.

My thoughts were caught with pain when I remembered lying in Reggie's arms every day and feeling safe. How long has it been going on with the blonde girl?

In the end, I was just his toy anyway. But I loved, I really loved. Why was I used like that? Wasn't I good enough to be loved? Was I really unlovable?

I wish I could talk to Jason. He was always my protector in need. He always gave me this little funk of hope when I felt bad... I knew that his mourning celebration would only be in 4 weeks. After all, he died for 1 month ago. Which made everything worse.

I tried to believe that the pain became less after a certain time.

But how is that possible? He was my brother. My twin.

I felt so bad.

I remembered lying in bed with him every night and talking about my thoughts. He knew as sure how to deal with them...

But he didn't know how to deal with his own.

He wrote this in the farewell letter before taking his own life with sleeping pills.

How I entered his room the next morning to go to school with him. But he didn't wake up this time.

I found him.

I know how I looked aside and saw the pill box lying on his table. I immediately checked his pulse.

At first, I thought I couldn't find the pulse vein.

But she didn't hit anymore.

I remember screaming for my mother after some minutes.

She wasn't at home. She was with my father on one of those stupid trips for the company.

I was alone. Alone in the house. In the room where I saw my brother lying... death.

Of course, I called the ambulance. Jason immediately declared dead after appearance and after the investigation.

If only I had asked about his feelings. All of this wouldn't happen.

Was it my fault?

I pour myself out of my thoughts when I felt the tears running down my face. I felt my body tremble, and I felt my respiratory tract scream for air.

Slowly I got up and went into my brother's room.

I stood there. At his doorstep.

I wish if I opened it, he would lie there and complain that I hadn't knocked.

So I opened it. Slowly. Scared to look.

Of course, my wish did not come true.

The light was off and the bed as if it were bought new.

I took a few steps into it and breathed in stuffy air.

I saw him lying there like the day I found him.

I knew I had to stay strong. I didn't want to go back to my room.

I took a few more steps to his desk and looked at the picture he had of both of us hanging there.