Forever Rain

Chapter 3

Rain

I wake up to the smell of cigarettes and knew my mother is most likely in my bedroom, smoking away a night of my dad's beating. Being a truck driver, he'll be gone for the next two weeks, and my mother and I can finally tread easily around the house, which also means I have a lot of cleaning to do.

I glance over at the thirty-five-year-old woman who looks a decade older than she really is, my features resembling hers exactly, except she looked exhausted and worn out from the many years of drugs and abuse, the corner of her lips bruised and swollen.

"Let me get you some ice for that, Mom," I say to her, getting myself off of bed, a piece of mattress on the corner of the floor.

"There's no ice, honey. The fridge ain't working again."

I give her a nod, and proceed to get my clothes to shower for school. As much as I hate morning showers, I didn't want the smell of cigarettes, booze, and shame to follow me to school.

"It's getting cold. Make sure you wear some' that will keep you warm," she suggests. Once in a while, in between her stages of being strung out, she would have such a nurturing way about her, and it made me yearn for the mom she could have been if her circumstances haven't led her to such a dreadful life. For the most part, she tries not to be home when she's high, and I was grateful for that sacrifice, because it kills me whenever I see her ghost-like frame wobbling through the door.

"How you liking that new school?" she asks, blowing out a puff of smoke through my open window. She's only in my room when she feels the most trapped, weakened from the endurance of the bad hand life has dealt her. She had said once that my room was the only place she could feel peace, and the fact that my father didn't ever come into my room made it a safe place for her.

"Well, I definitely don't belong there, but I'm getting a better education than I ever had in any of my other schools."

"You belong there because you're smarter than all those rich, snobby kids."

I give her an encouraging smile, knowing this is as close to a mother-daughter moment we will ever get.

"I might be gone for a few days so make sure to take care of yourself." Just like that, the mother I long for is gone, replaced by a druggie who needs her fix, staring blankly out the window.

After a quick shower and placing my hair in a french braid that cascades to my lower back, I grab my jacket and head out the door. The slopes of trees rooted in the hilly mountaintops lay as a backdrop behind our house. The ugliness of our home would easily stick out against the well-maintained residents around us, but the trees and shrubs save us from the glaring humility.

This morning's September air is growing frigid with temperatures dipping into the low fifties, and I'm already trembling at the thought of riding my bike through the snow to get to school this year. Normally, I would take the school bus during the snowy months, but the bus for my new school didn't come out this far, and I wouldn't dare ask to use the car.

As soon as I reach the top of the hill, I see a black BMW parked on the dirt shoulder coming up on my right. Panic setting in, I can't bring myself to believe that he would come all this way to meet me before school. His house must be on the opposite side of town, the nicer side, and it is a little after six thirty. Has he really woken up that early to wait for me here?

Sure enough, a pair of khaki pants, top with a navy blue sweater revealing a white collar along the V-shaped neckline, steps out of the vehicle. He leaves the door open and leans against it, Elvis Presley singing "Can't Help Falling in Love" blaring through the speakers. I give him an eye roll and an amused grin as I try to ignore it and continue on pedaling. I had every intention of passing right by him, when he unexpectedly jumps in front of my path, causing me to stop.