I'm going to be completely honest, I started playing volleyball because of an anime.
At first, I didn't have a volleyball so I would practice with a soccer ball. Having no one to teach me I started to teach myself. Every day after school I would go outside and practice with the soccer ball.
Eventually my parents bought me a real volleyball and signed me up for camps to learn how to play. Let's just say I definitely stood out; I didn't have any volleyball shorts, so I ended up wearing this silly Haikyuu uniform to camp every day. I eventually got real clothes for volleyball and didn't wear the uniform anymore.
As I got better, I decided to try out for a team. The tryouts were definitely scary, there were girls much taller and stronger than me.
Somehow, I managed to get on a regional travel team. At first it was fun, but as we did more practices I started getting left out.
I almost never played on the court and was always on the sidelines. Not only that but no one ever wanted to be partners with me. They had all made their cliques and I had gotten left behind.
Despite always being on the sidelines at the tournaments I was always the one to cheer the loudest and always congratulated everyone.
But I never got better, since I never played in tournaments or during practice the coach never gave me feedback. She was so focused on the other girls that I didn't learn anything.
Eventually I started to overthink a lot, I would go quiet at practice and stop talking. I began to dread going to practice. Whenever I made a mistake, I would beat myself up over it, nothing I did was good enough for me.
I truly wanted to love volleyball, but that one experience with a team ruined my love for the sport. In the end I stopped practicing at home, I stopped talking at practice, and when we got our first win in a tournament, I was so happy, well at first. As days went by, I hated that stupid medal, because I never played on the court to win that medal, so did I even deserve it?
Now watching volleyball just makes me sad.
