Love is a complicated feeling. If I'm being entirely honest, I hate this stupid feeling called love. I never want to feel love again but at the same time I do.
Love makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside, the world around you starts to brighten and sparkle, but eventually a black substance covers the once wonderful feeling.
This black substance is filled with dark emotions, worry, doubts, fear. These feeling always come with love.
It's a gut clenching feeling, everything they say to you, you start to overthink, do they hate me? How do I know if they like me?
Eventually you just keep the feelings locked inside because the fear of rejection is too strong.
Not to mention there's always an end to a relationship, whether it be breaking off or even death every relationship will end with pain.
I guess its happy in the moments it lasts, but I really don't want to have to deal with this pain again.
Although who am I to talk, I've only ever been in one silly relationship, and I guess you could call it toxic.
Of course, me being me I blame myself, although I think we both hurt each other equally.
The feeling called "love" wasn't present. I was his escape from his ex and dark feelings, he would rant to me, and I would listen.
Just listening wasn't enough I guess, I never tried to go forward in the relationship, guess I was scared. I was scared to acknowledge that it was real.
In the beginning it was nice, but nothing nice lasts forever. In the end he vented to me one last time before breaking it off and leaving, giving some silly excuse that he liked it better when we were friends.
Despite what he said he made no effort to stay friends, way to break up with a girl.
I wasn't sad though, more like angry. I felt used, and his silly excuse to break up with me pissed me off.
In the end no tears were shed from my part and despite the guilt I feel it's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
