LIVING IS NOT AN ART

Chapter 4

November 10, 2012

Hello again, it's been a long time, I really owe you an apology, no need to mention that I feel terrible; it's getting harder and harder to resist this whole part, on one hand, I have Justin who won't leave me alone even for a second, he keeps saying he's my big brother, sometimes I wonder if he has a life of his own, it's of an idiot to waste time with me like that, nothing and nobody will be able to change my perspectives. Including you, you may read this with sadness now, but I think there will be a time when you will hate me, for the moment I keep telling you about my tedious life, if I talked about my day to day life, I could create a book of adventures, in this institution so many things happen that you could stay with a soda and some popcorn to enjoy the show.

Yesterday afternoon a girl tried to jump off the roof, luckily Justin is one step ahead of everyone here, he discovered her alone wandering through the corridors, before reaching the door to the terrace, which should be locked, but someone from maintenance forgot to leave it locked; if the idiot who won't leave me alone for an hour hadn't arrived on the scene, the girl would now be on her way to the morgue. There are so many stupid situations, every day, most of them are teenagers with serious personality problems, some because their parents don't let them go out to parties and want to get back at them, others because it screws up their rich lives; very few here have real situations that merit death, the worst situations I have encountered are the number one idiots who commit suicide for a girl.

Just now I am in the dining room, it is a little nicer than the rooms, per table four boys sit, it should be clarified that this institution is for teenagers, the reason I am still here, they believe that I am someone very dangerous for children, those little monsters that are mostly with cognitive problems, therefore, I prefer to be here, young people today with their ways of behaving distract me to any doubtful thought.

—Hey, yeah, you idiot —A stubborn guy calls me, so much to his physique, it's better not to mess with him, he looks like someone out of a gym after a long routine, indeed, he doesn't even look like a teenager; besides, he looks like an actor out of Hollywood, tanned skin, blue eyes like the sea (they shine with the light) he almost always wears a smile, in my opinion he looks very fake, I have heard rumors that his father tried to kill him, although others say that his girlfriend denounced him for abuse; the only thing I am sure of is that in his arms he has several cuts, on one occasion I discovered him showing some that he has on his chest, where by the way, he has a marked abdomen.

—Leave him alone Roger —Says a girl with red hair, very pale skin, whenever I see her she has dark circles under her eyes, it seems that they are already part of her, unlike the other two idiots with whom I have to share meal times, she is a little nicer; although I am not interested in any of the people present.

—Fuck you, Roger.

—Did you hear? —Noah laughs out loud, but when he sees Roger's bad face he takes his cutlery again and pretends to be eating, everyone present is waiting for Roger's reaction, he doesn't take his eyes off me, as for me I don't even flinch from his constant face that inspires fear, there really is something wrong with me, if I were someone else I would be begging for his life.

—You think you're superior to everyone here, but...

—Stop your stupidity, I am not interested in being the center of attention, much less in believing that I am above others, you are the one who invents....

—Shut up —He shouts at me, in his face is drawn that macabre smile that those who think they have control of everything think they scare with just a look and words out of tone; the case, I only pretended a gesture not to damage his moment of aggressiveness, this is what I mean by playing with the minds of others—, You are nothing but trash Michael...