They Call Me the Coroner | Top Gun: Maverick

A Dysfunctional Captain

I'm a ten out of ten today. Feeling great. Got my plane flying right above Hangman, Phoenix, and Bob in the planes under me. We are waiting on Maverick.

"Still more dogfighting today?" Bob asks no person in particular.

"Same as yesterday. Gotta make sure you kids have the necessary skills to get out of there alive." I swoop in next to them.

"You think we will?"

I think for a second. "Don't worry about it, Bob. You all are very capable pilots and extremely talented at flying. And in your case...flipping switches and shooting things." I chuckle.

"So, tell me, what does Bob stand for?" Hangman jeers in the radio.

"Don't fall for it, Bob. He's just a big bully." I say.

"Yeah, wanna know why we call him Hangman?" Phoenix joins in.

"Wait, I got it! Baby On Board. Ha!"

I shake my head at Jake and start making my way out to their right side. Maverick pulls up, swinging around them.

"Good morning. Let the fight begin!"

I slice the air behind them and almost hit Phoenix while Hangman tells her to break right, but he goes left, leaving her to fend for herself.

"THAT'S why we call him Hangman! He always hangs you out to dry." She barks.

"Wow!" I drag out in my radio, looping in the air. "Bold move."

"Abandoning your wingman? That's a tactic I haven't seen in a long time." Mav says and he takes the air behind Jake.

"You hear that, Phoenix? He called you a man!" Hangman jeers.

"As long as he doesn't call you a man."

"Let's teach you a lesson, Hangman." Mav says.

I lock my sights on Phoenix after she dodges me a couple times. "You're dead, Phoenix!"

She grumbles in the radio and Mav takes after Hangman, diving.

Before he can get a lock, Hangman breaks left and pulls back. His plane flying behind me now. I pull out of the way as he tries to get me in his sights.

"Scared, Coroner?" He teases. "Come on! We're on the same side."

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"We're on the same side, Marty!"
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Shaking my head hard, I dive, coming close to the hard deck. I pull up, flying right in front of his plane, almost grazing the nose.

"Jeez!"

He pulls the breaks hard. I glide between him and Maverick and invert my plane with a bitter laugh.

"Don't test me, Bagman. I'll shoot your butt to the ground."

He chuckles in the radio. "Gotta catch me first!"

We fly in a series of zigzags and loops. The weight of a non-existant firetruck crushing my chest as we get faster and faster. Warnings start blaring in my ear. My console lights up with reds and yellows.

"Crap." I say. "Mayday! Mayday! Gotta bring her down. Engines overheating. Those sons of pigeons gave me a defective flight vehicle."

"Probably all that fancy flying you did. Goes to show you what happens when you try and impress people." Jake chuckles.