Strawberries & Cigarettes || Chwe Hansol

Seven

Date: June 30th 2019

"I think you really love her. You should man up and go confront her instead of avoiding the truth like a coward." Joshua said calmly knowing that what he said would get on my nerves. "It was a dare! I don't have feelings for her. It's the opposite, I feel free finally." I raised my voice because I was about to lose my temper.

"You think that you could convince me with those words. Maybe now you think that but believe me after a while you'll feel the pain." He scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "It's better for the both of us, I don't feel guilty lying to her anymore and I'm not wasting my time on her too." I said as I laid back in my bed with my arm under my head. "Hansol, you're just confused with your feelings. You're trying to convince yourself that it didn't mean anything to you those past two months when the truth is it meant a lot to you but your brain doesn't want to admit it." He said but I could tell that he was getting frustrated with me from the way he said those words.

He stood up and said "I hope that you'll think about what I just said seriously and think what is deep down in your heart. Now you don't feel the lose but believe me when time passes by and she moves on you'll suffer and regret it. Think about it, Hansol." He said then left my dorm room.

'Hansol you can't waver now. You don't love her, it was all a dare so don't get too attracted.' I tried convincing myself but whatever I said was useless because deep down I knew I was lying to myself, it was obvious. Joshua was right but I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to turn back to her and ask for forgiveness. I already embarrassed myself once and I was sure that I wasn't going to repeat the same stupid mistake. I just had to ignore my thoughts and heart for a while and as time passes by I'll forget her and not feel guilty or even feel anything towards her. I just needed to be patient for a while until the time arrives when I forget about her and forget about every single thing about her. I'll forget about her existence when time passes by.