Words

Chapter 9

Everything has gotten better since I talked to Ben. I kept what had happened to me and Ben from my mom and Ben's mom, anyways it's slowly passed and maybe I should have handled it more maturely.

Communication
Speak
Get the words out
Those words above recorded in my head.

But after all, how can a wife stand when she hears her husband's ex-girlfriend wants to come back, not to mention the damn divorce papers. I'm sure all the wives in the world would feel the same if it happened to them. And maybe not all husbands in the world will dare to tell the truth like Ben, maybe only some of them will reject their ex-girlfriend who used to mean a lot, and maybe only some of the husband and wife will make the things up. Ben and I might be one of them, I might not have believed it for a while, but my heart couldn't resist the honesty in his eyes.

Ananda's wedding has been going well, I'm happy to see Mama happy and I'm also happy to see her husband happy, because it makes Mama look happier. I'm also happier when I see everyone happy.

We went back to Jakarta, we I meant Ben and I. Even though we made up I'm still not very friendly to him, and he seems to be able to understand that. Yes, I was just handed the divorce papers last week, and now I have to act like it never happened. I did forgive him, but I didn't forget it.

I can't forget it
I wouldn't forget it
Except if i got amnesia, i might forget everything again

And it seems that the same thing happened to Harris, the change in his attitude that was a little colder towards Ben plus I still remember the marks on Ben's jaw that I doubt were the result of Harris's hand now faded. There's nothing wrong with that, Harris is just an older brother trying to protect his sister and that's forgivable.

The first thing I do when I get home is clean up. Without the touch of a woman's hand, as beautiful as any house can turn into a coffin. I accidentally saw the blue folder, the blue folder that ripped my heart apart was already torn apart in the trash box. Ben hates it, just as much as I hate that blue map.

I will hate blue folder all my life

Meanwhile, Ben has to catch up with his job, which he left behind while he looking for me. I can understand that, work is number three after the five daily prayers and I. I tried to rid my mind of negative and disastrous things, be it the annoying woman Eliza or Aunt Hannah who I think is Godzilla the woman who is busy guarding her eggs. Since she wasn't married yet so it was impossible for her to have eggs, I took back what I said about it.

I went shopping at once to calm my mind and looking around a bit. Bought some kitchen supplies, and my eyes were glued to a mannequin head for a few minutes. I looked at the brown pashmina, thinking and pondering in my heart I don't know what I was thinking.

I've been wanting to wear the hijab for a long time, but I'm scared. I'm afraid that my behavior will ruined the purity of it, afraid that all my actions will destroy her holy image and besides that I'm also afraid that I won't have the opportunity to carry out my obligations as a woman.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" My thoughts were interrupted instantly when a saleswoman approached me with a sweet smile.

I drive myself home, well Ben is still busy at work. I know he's not Rihanna who likes to work, work, work, work but he is indeed Ben who knows his wife's hobbies. One of them is 't spend my husband's money, at least I'm not as bad as my teenage years. I prefer to buy essentials, lipstick and powder also fall into the important category for me.