𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘆𝗕𝗼𝘅 𝑨𝑫𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑵 𝗢𝗻𝗲𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘀 [2]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. 𝐫𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝

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The various tones of the color brown and the smell of woody and faint vanilla scent is what greeted me when I stepped in to my favorite National Bookstore here in Seattle. The bells above the polished birch wood door jiggled as it closed. Although, some things in this place have changed, it still gives me the same feeling of contentment and satisfaction. Add the feeling of nostalgia as I have went here many times since I was a kid.

Lemon's Bookshop, where many books and novels of romance stories reside, is also where many love stories of various couples were formed. That is why this place is considered, well, a matchmaker.

And I agree with what other people think. Because I once met the love of my life here.

As I strolled along the long shelves where books of various categories are sorted in. Instantly, I would go to the romance section as I am a romance writer myself. But today, it was different. Instead, I went to the children's section of the bookstore, different titles of random fairytales and fables are seen.

I looked down to my right, my heart instantly melting as I saw the most gorgeous gem I have ever possessed, smiling widely as she looked at the books. In her eyes, I saw a glimpse of excitement. I can sense that she wants to go approach the shelf and look for a story that she would like to take home with us for me to read her at night.

I bent down slightly, her chocolate brown eyes landing straight to mine. "You wanna go look for some books, honey?" I softly ask her.

She giggles and nods in enthusiasm. I smile and let her hand go, letting her explore and take whatever story she likes.

The way she cheerfully skipped from book to book, reminded me suddenly of her life's other half. Her dad.

I can definitely see the resemblance they have. Just from the energy and amount of positiveness they both have. On physical traits, she got his brown eyes and his natural black hair. Their smiles are almost identical too as both their cheeks show these cute little dimples as they grin.

Almost every single thing about her reminds me of him. And it is painful in some way. Not only was I a little jealous that she has gotten most of his genes, I also have to take her away from him, making my poor daughter live without her other parent.

It is a poor decision that has been made, but I thought it was for the best. For him, for me, and for our daughter.

Finding out about the most precious gift God has ever given me, I was in pure surprise and bliss. I have never reached this level of happiness and content until that very moment. My heart was full, and well, so was my stomach.

But all those happy thoughts instantly been replaced with pure fear and anxiety as I got reminded of what he has said a few months prior. I once asked him if he ever wanted to have a baby, and he said yes, except not soon as he is still isn't ready for that big of a responsibility.

Dread has swallowed my soul from the thought of telling him the news. I didn't want him to leave me. I feared that he will. I don't know what I would do with my life if he ever goes away. I don't know how I would feel if he ever rejects the baby living with me.

That is why, with no words or reasons being told, I left him myself. I am fully aware of his utter shock and confusion as to why I would suddenly cut things off between us when everything is going well. Everything is going perfect.

That same night, guilt has covered my entire being. I just broke the love of my life's heart, but in order for my daughter to have a peaceful life, this is what I had to do.

There indeed would be moments where I will be longing for his presence. His hugs, his kisses, his sweet words, just him. I will not deny that I want him back. I want to come back to him. But I couldn't, so I'm left with the only thing that will ever remind me of him.

Sighing deeply, I looked away trying to get my mind of that person. My eyes wandered around the store, my gaze trailing across the shelves packed with books. And then my eyes landed on one particular spot. It was the tallest bookshelf on the far left side of the place.

In other people's perspective, it is just one ordinary shelf. But in my eyes, that wooden structure is special. Not only because most of my favorite books were displayed in there, I also met the love of my life on that specific place.

I remember how he is struggling to reach the book on top of the shelf. I remember exactly what book it is. I remember exactly what he was wearing. I remember our first ever interaction. I remember that one particular day. So vividly I can see it happening right in front of me.

A sudden feeling of being watched has ruined the moment of me reminiscing on wholesome yet painful memories. The abrupt change in the atmosphere was felt in the air it made my stomach flip. I felt uneasy, unsafe.

Looking back to where my daughter was, I immediately felt relieved when I saw her just reading a book. From what I see in the cover, it seemed like it is a story about a fairy or some kind. Just as my soul slowly went back to its calm state, I was once again startled when a voice spoke behind me.

"Adam?"

I turned around to face the person, my smile immediately leaving my lips and I gasped in shock.

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