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I had been in bed for the past 3 weeks, the day it happened I woke up to Jessiah still sleeping beside me naked.
I had regretted everything we did and started to feel so ashamed and scared, what if I got pregnant? What if my dad finds out?
How am I going to tell my mom this, it's just honestly too much for me but that's my fault. I decided to step out of my body and be grown.
I don't blame anyone but myself because the only person I can blame is myself. Anyways I had to wake Jessiah up quickly.
He got dressed and he left, I had to sneak him out only because I know how my dad feels about him sleeping in my room.
Now he's going to go crazy when he finds out I had sex with the boy. I'm scared to show my face, I'm just so disappointed in myself.
My phone dinged causing me to look at it, it was Dior.
CHAT MODE ----------------------- mybbysissy 💟
Tink momma want you, she said come here now 🤦🏽♀️
Here I come.
R You okay Tink? I miss you sm.
Yes ml, and I miss you so much more. 🥺 -----------------------
I hated not spending time with Dior but I'm just so scared she'll shame me, even tho she's only 14 I tell her everything.
I got out of bed and put on some shorts, I grabbed my bonnet and put it on as well before making my way downstairs.
My momma was sitting there watching tv with Nuni, "Yea ma?" she turned her head and waved me over to her.
I tried my best to fix my attitude hoping and praying she wouldn't notice the drastic change.
Once she turned her head I sped walked to the couch, plopped down beside her even though it still hurt like hell.
"Why you been in that room all month?" she asked immediately and I shrugged, "Dior let me talk to her alone real fast, ima pause our show."
Dior nodded standing to her feet, she left the room and my mom paused the Ms.Pat show which was what they rewatched every Sunday.
"You okay?" She placed her hand on my shoulder, I nodded. "You can talk to me about anything I promise you, if you going through something let me know."
I knew she was thinking I was depressed again, the first time I fell into depression it was hard on all of us.
I locked myself in my room 24/7 and barely ate anything all because of a boy. I had no business being inlove at 13 anyways.
I tried to take my own life because he broke up with me and we all had to experience that.
What hurt me the most was seeing Dior's face when she opened the door to her big sister in a puddle of blood.
I just hope and pray no one ever does her how he did me, that's why im so protective over her.
"Is it about that boy- mama it's something else." my voice cracked, she pulled me in for a hug and I cried like a baby.
"What's the problem Tink, you have to tell me." she whispered, the same way she did before causing me to cry harder.
"I'm a disgrace to the family, I'm so sorry mama." I admitted, she was still so confused.
I lifted myself off of her and she wiped my face, "Tink what is it?" she grabbed ahold of my shoulders.
"Me and Jessiah yk know." it took her a while to understand what I meant but she get got it her face changed.
"Omg are you pregnant?" she basically yelled, "No mama!" I whined, I thought about how disappointed she may be and started crying again.
"Oh baby." She pulled me in for another hug, "It's okay my love, I understand you know what you did was wrong at your age but it's okay. You're not a disgrace and I am not disappointed in you baby. You stayed true to yourself and told me instead of hiding it and I applaud you for that. Im sorry that I didn't pay attention and ask you sooner, that's my bad."
"However I will never be ashamed of you, im proud you always. You're a straight A student, you're graduating earlier, you're always so respectful, you're an amazing daughter and everything else of the sort. Don't let one thing ruin you or the reputation you've built up. If you love Jessiah in that way than you call him and you let him know."
I nodded taking in everything she was saying, "Now im not saying go out and have sex again, im saying work on y'all's relationship."
"Thank you mama." we hugged one last time, "Ok me and Nuni gotta finish our show, you gone on up there and text that boy." she patted my butt when I stood.
"Let me see the walk you been hiding." once I started to walked she began to crack up like it was the funniest thing ever.
I rushed to my room after telling Nuni she can go back and I'd talk to her later. I got on my phone and texted Jessiah immediately.
