scars and stars (matt sturniolo x y/n)

apologies.

my head whipped towards the door to see Matt standing there with his head hanging low. fear rolls through me, as i'm unsure if he saw Chris and i.

"thanks for comforting her, Chris but can you leave for a few?" Matt asks. relief fills me and i'm positive that he didn't see.

"yeah man," Chris says. he looks at me for a split second before getting up and leaving.

"y/n.. i'm so sorry. it all just happened so fast and i'm not even sure why i didn't pull away," Matt starts rambling while sitting on my bed. guilt from the kiss with his brother washes over me as i see the pain in his eyes.

"actually Matt, i'm sorry," i say, cutting him off from rambling.

"hm? for what?" he says, locking eyes with me.

"promise you don't be mad at me or anyone else?" i ask. his sad expression changes to confusion.

"i promise," he says.

"Chris and i just kissed," i say, shutting my eyes tight so that i can't see the disappointment on Matt's face.

"what..?" he says, completely crushed.

"i'm so sure it was because of the alcohol and he was so close.. i don't know what i was thinking," i say. he looks down at his hands which are fidgeting.

"at least i kissed someone who isn't related to you," he mumbles, barely audible.

"what?"

"at least i kissed someone who isn't fucking related to you y/n," he says, louder and on the verge of yelling. i flinch, getting flashbacks to James and tears poke at my eyes.

"oh my god y/n. i'm so sor-" Matt starts to say, seeing my reaction.

"it's fine. why don't you go home," i say, standing and holding back tears. he stands up without saying anything and i walk him to the door.

"i really am sorry about Chris," i say before closing the door. i drop to the floor again, sobbing into my hands. how could i let myself kiss Chris when i'm in love with his brother? and on top of that, make Matt feel bad for it?! i'm a terrible person.

knock knock

"don't come in," i say between sobs.

"y/n it's me," Leo says. i pick my head up out of my hands, confused why Leo would be here. i stand up and open the door. as soon as i do, Leo engulfs me in a hug. what the fuck.

"i heard everything. the walls are kinda thin," he says, still hugging me. i let myself cry into him, feeling comforted by my brother.

"i don't know what to do," i say.

"you apologized to Matt which is good. i think you need to talk to Chris about it. blame it on being drunk if you have to, but make sure they aren't mad at each other," he says. i nod my head and pull out my phone. i text Chris first and then move onto Matt.

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hey Chris. ik u prob don't wanna hear from me but i just wanted to make sure that nothing like that happens again. i really really like Matt and i couldnt do that to him. let's agree to not talk abt this again?
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hey Matt. i'm really really sorry about everything that happened tonight. Ellie was just trying to make me jealous and i shouldn't be mad at you for it. i totally understand if you don't want to talk to me but i want you to know that it isn't Chris's fault and he's the last person you should be upset at. i really do love you and i want you to remember that.
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by the time i'm done texting both of them, i receive a text from Nick.

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Nick: hey y/n. what happened?? Chris and Matt both ran to their rooms when we got home and won't tell me what happened.

y/n: welllll long story short Chris went to comfort me after Ellie made out with Matt and the alcohol got to my head and i may or may not have kissed Chris..

Nick: 😃📸

y/n: and then Matt came to apologize but i felt super guilty so i told him about Chris and now he's mad at me but also feels bad bc i flinched when he yelled at me

Nick: oh y/n.. wait why tf would u kiss Chris? he's smelly

y/n: boi idek

Nick: wellll we're filming a car video tn for tmrw's video and i was gonna ask if u wanted to be in it but i don't think that's the best idea rn

y/n: yeah ur prob right lol

Nick: alr well i'll talk to my brothers and try to get everything sorted out

y/n: okay thanks Nicky boy 🫶🏻

Nick: ofc y/n 🤍
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wow Nick's rlly a good friend.

ding! it's a text from Chris..
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Chris: hey y/n. i 100% agree not to talk abt it again. sorry it even happened.
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i shoot back a quick "it's okay" text and put my phone down only for me to pick it right back up when i get a text from Matt.
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hi y/n. i talked to Chris and we made up btw. i really like you too 🤍
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my heart drops. i said in my text that i love him..
"i really like you too" is not what he was supposed to say. i decide not to text him back in case they're in the middle of filming their video and instead go to sleep.

*the next morning*

my head throbs from the party last night. when i open my eyes, i see my mom sitting next to me with a damp paper towel and a bucket.

"mom..?" i ask, confused.

"Leo told me everything so i just wanted to be here for you.. also i brought this in case you were hungover but as i can see, you definitely are," she says. i laugh a little before sitting up to talk to her.

"you gonna hang with the boys today?" she asks.

"probably not. i'll just watch greys anatomy and stuff my face with food," i say, smiling. she laughs and gets up.

"well if you ever need me i'll be downstairs," she says before leaving. i grab my laptop off the bedside table and open netflix, clicking on greys anatomy. i'm not even sure of how many hours went by but i was interrupted by a notification.

*Sturniolo Triplets posted a video!*

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im actually so sorry this took so long to come out. depression sucks!! boooo!!!! anyway i hope u enjoy.

-1105 words-