As I Sit Here

The Morning Of Regrets, and Counseling

Her lips were so soft. They tasted salty, because she had been weeping moments before. I couldn't believe I just did that. I closed my eyes, and continued the kiss, until she pulled away. "Dakota plea-" "GET OFF ME!!" She screamed. I still couldn't believe I just did that."Is everything alright, girls?" My mom said, poking her head in the door way. "NO! You're daughter is so stupid!" Dakota screamed, and with that, she stormed out of my house.

My mother stared at me, awaiting an explanation. I knew she would find out one way or another.. "We got in a fight, and I kissed her..." I cried. My mom looked at me, with sympathy in her eyes. "Oh, honey..." She said. She tried to pull me into a hug, but I pushed her away. I didn't need comforting. I needed Dakota to help me, not mom. "Mom, don't." I cried. I ran up to my room before she could reply.

I got down on my knees, and put my hand under my desk. I moved it along the floor until my fingers brushed over something sharp. Carefully, I wrapped my fingers around it, and pulled it from under the desk. I sat on my bed, and began to pull my sleeve up. This is for Dakota.. I thought as I sliced my skin. The cut began to sting. Blood began to ooze from the cut. It dripped off of my wrist, onto my thigh, and on the floor. Soon enough, there was a puddle of regrets. This is for that kiss. I knew Dakota would hate me for it. Again, I took the razor to my skin, and applied pressure.

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It was Monday morning. I was not going to get out of bed. Not now. Not ever.

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It was Tuesday, and It was all quiet until..."Violet? Honey? You need to get ready!" She yelled from downstairs. "IM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!"I screamed, maybe to harshly. "THAT'S NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!" She replied, equally as loud. "WHAT?" I yelled back. I received no reply. "Ugnhh.." I groaned. What could possibly be so important?! I thought. I got out my phone to text Dakota. Hey!! Wan- I stopped. Then, the memories of the fight came back. The razors, Veronica, the yelling, the kiss....

I rolled out of bed. I knew I had to get up, but my body wouldn't listen. I rubbed my hands to my face, and felt the dried tears. I looked down at the floor, and there was the puddle of dry blood, just like it was last night. I grabbed a tissue from my dresser, and wiped it up. I was so tired from crying nonstop last night, I didn't know if I could move much longer. That was until my alarm started blaring.

"Alright, so what is it you want?" I asked, shoving a pancake in my mouth. She simply smiled. "What?" I asked her again. Still smiling, she replied, "You're gonna go see Marty!"