6:18am. The room was cloaked in darkness except for an iridescent glow coming off the clock atop the nightstand. Kevin laid on his side, his head resting on his upper arm, watching as the digits flipped to 6:19. He had gravitated away from his side of the bed and over to what was supposed to be Patrick's. The mattress was the only thing spared as he in a state of irrational hurt and anger tossed or donated most of his belongings that furnished the apartment nine months ago. Pitched was the poster from Field of Dreams, probably landing in the city dump along with other items he had collected during his two years with Jon and one day with Patrick.
Now 6:25am, Kevin could no longer sleep. His mind had started to circle endlessly over what was not accomplished yesterday and the monumental list of things that needed getting to today. Kevin rationalized his schedule for this Saturday morning. If he got out of bed this instant, he could do a quick shower and get to the office by 7am which would give him the time to read, respond and delete a great deal of his overstuffed email inbox, rifle thru and sort out a mountainous stack of paperwork that followed him to the states from his office in Osaka. Two intense hours would be sufficient to get caught up and leave him well positioned for work on Monday. He also needed to pick up the basics in the way of groceries, hit the dry cleaners for retrieval of shirts and pick up the gift before it became embarrassing late. Kevin rolled onto his back. He wanted to lay on Patrick's side of the bed awhile longer, underneath the warmth of the down comforter, fall back asleep and dream about how that first holiday might have been together in this apartment and in this bed. Kevin looked over at the clock, 6:37am. He needed to get up now or let the sorrow and regret seeping into his body weigh him down, making it impossible to move or even want to.
The Range Rover was not missed as Kevin walked several blocks to the offices of Most Dangerous Games. The weather was surprisingly warmer this morning than it has been in past weeks, the sun breaking out around a thick cloud cover lingering from yesterday's rain. Kevin shed his coat two blocks away from the building and arrived at 7:22am. He went straight to his office, turned on his computer and got to the tasks at hand. Two hours passed and Kevin had managed to plow through almost all of the emails, reviewed a couple new contracts and filed documents that had already been approved. Grabbing coat and keys, he powered down the computer, locked the office and searched for somewhere he could get a bite to eat before making his way to the next destination on his list. Heading three blocks north Kevin found a small diner serving breakfast. He sat himself down in a small booth near the back. A waitress approached offering a menu, silverware and a glass of water. Kevin pulled out his phone to check messages and his readers to peruse the menu.
"Domo arigato Mr. Roboto", a voice broke the silence in the booth. Kevin knew immediately who it belonged to. "I think that's Japanese, right?"
"I think that's just the refrain from a horrible Styx song", Kevin said as he took a sip from the juice sitting in front of him.
"Well long time no see", Eddie offered sliding into the booth across from him. "So nice wheels Patrick came home with yesterday. And sorry that me and Augustine immediately ran out and keyed it when we found out it was yours."
"Glad to see I am still popular with Patrick's friends".
"Let's order first and then we can get into your obvious character flaw of being a ginormous dick. You're buying right?", Eddie asked as he waived the waitress over.
Kevin attempted to order a breakfast of egg white omelet with a side of in season fruit but under protest from his dining companion he opted for eggs benedict with hollandaise . Eddie chose the belgian waffle with side of hash browns.
"So, seriously Japan? One fight with Patrick and you're off to Japan?"
"No, it wasn't like that. Should I even try and put up a defense for myself here?", Kevin took a deep breath and shook his head. "Did Patrick give an accounting of his actions that morning after our fight. I know he went straight away to see Richie."
"He did and trust me I gave him shit for it and I gave shit to Augustine for giving him a pass on seeing an ex after a fight with the current boyfriend", Eddie offered. "Patrick asked for time and you left him. Explain that."
Kevin rubbed his forehead and took a sip of the juice. Reliving that night , the horrible morning after finding himself alone in their home and realizing where Patrick had gone to find comfort from him was unbearable.
"When Patrick broke up with me the first time, I was a wreck. But the night at the apartment, the things he said, it sounded so final, like he was leaving and there was no chance for me or us to work this out. That morning, god, I paced for hours, his words destroyed me. I could have gone to the roof and seriously jumped off. I knew he still had unresolved feelings for Richie. There was Richie at the Halloween party. There was Richie at the Gaymer X conference. And I saw them. I saw Patrick looking at Richie while we were dancing. I kept pushing my doubts down. The night of our fight, I had to negotiate with myself, how much I loved Patrick versus how much he needed to figure out what his feelings for Richie were. I said those things, about if things should happen outside of our relationship that we would still be OK for him. If he needed to resolve those feelings I could be alright as long as he was honest with me and we had the opportunity to work it out. I wanted a fighting chance to save us. But when he said he didn't want to see me, to sort things out, I couldn't bear it. I knew he would be with Richie and seeing them together would have ruined me. I needed to get as far away as I could, to try and save myself." Kevin stopped, his voice was becoming shaky and breathing heavy. He looked over to Eddie. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Give me a minute", Eddie said with phone in hand. "God, the keyboard is so fucking tiny and my fingers hit everything but the right letter. Ok last line you said was something like saving us or wanting a second chance?"
"Jesus, you're texting this entire conversation to Patrick, aren't you?"
"Yes I am and you need to slow down when you talk and take a break after every sentence and eat your food. It would help me to keep up. Seriously, I kinda do want you and Patrick to work it out. Patrick has been miserable and Augustine has been sharing in that misery with him. You guys have the makings for an epic love story sort of like Jack and Rose from Titanic . . . "
"Wait, isn't he frozen dead in the water at the end?" Kevin asked.
"Ok yea, you're right. You and Pat are like Rhett and Scarlett in Gone With the Wind."
"Rhett leaves Scarlett at the end."
"Ok ok let me try again here", Eddie waived at Kevin as he took the last bite of waffle on his plate. "Romeo and Juliette . . "
"He drinks poison and she stabs herself."
"How about Casablanca?"
"She gets on the plane and leaves", Kevin answered. " He is left in Morocco to face the Nazis."
"Ok you guys are Redford and Streisand in the Way we Were."
"Again, they are not together in the end."
"Love Story?", Eddie sheepishly offered.
"She dies. He still hates his father at the end", Kevin exasperated wipes his mouth and sets the napkin on the table.
"Fuck, I so don't know my movies."
"Eddie, this has been an immense please but I have to get back on track and get my errands done." Kevin paid the check and tucked a tip under the juice glass. He gathered up his coat and keys.
"Can I say one more thing to you?", Eddie asked.
"As long as it has nothing to do with couples in movies", Kevin laughed.
"No, I just wanted to tell you Patrick is waiting for you outside the diner in the Range Rover."
YOU ARE READING
Looking to fix a shattered Life
أدب الهواةThis story takes place after the events of episode 210 of Looking. The center of the story revolves around Patrick and Kevin.