No Surrender | Eddie Munson

Chapter Forty-Eight: Follow the Light

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT: FOLLOW THE LIGHT

MONTEZUMA — FLEET FOXES

I wonder if I'll see
Any faces above me
Or just cracks in the ceiling
Nobody else to blame

——————

"Do you feel anything?"

I can't help but laugh at that. Glancing over my shoulder at Nancy, I reply with an awkward smile, "Oh, I feel it. This place is freezing."

From further along the corridor, Robin tugs on the collar of her patch-covered jacket, "You're kidding, right? It's a furnace. Totally defies logic."

"It's not that." I'm not quite sure how to explain it. Following her and Nancy into one of the rooms, I crouch over a crib in the corner. The webs are thick. I have to bite on the inside of my cheek to supress my disgust as I brush past them to get to the doll inside. Its porcelain face has been preserved in the darkness, its cheeks still rosy. Chunks have been bitten out of its pink, frilly dress by moths. "It's the Upside Down. It's cold."

They're both watching me now, curious.

I struggle for an answer, looking to them over my shoulder. "It's like, uh... someone left a window open a crack, all the warmth is leaking out. Only, it's, like, much worse. Can't think, can't breathe, hands shake, nose bleeds — ears, too, if it's bad enough. And someone's screaming. Just that last echo of it. Fear."

Nancy dares to step a little closer. "'Fear'. The Upside Down is... afraid?"

"No. It causes the fear, like the world itself is afraid. Fear is always cold. Like anger is hot — burning — , and calm and happy are warm. Rest of the symptoms kinda overlap."

"And you—" Robin gestures to the floor, knees bending a little "—you know, pass out when it's bad? Like in the Russian lift?" I nod. "Cool! So, you're like a— a human... Geiger counter?"

It's an odd comparison. Chuckling, I shrug. "Sure. I like that, actually. That works."

Nancy joins me by the crib, careful to keep her skirt from the musty floor. She reaches out to touch the doll's face and a sad smile takes over. "So you felt it happen? Fred and Chrissy?"

"I think so. I mean, I was asleep when Chrissy..." The thought makes me sick. I think of the body again, of Eddie being all alone and probably scared out of his mind. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I point to the ceiling. "You know. But I know I had a nightmare. Woke up to screaming, couldn't breathe."

"Girl, your powers suck," Robin groans.

"Tell me about it."

I turn my focus back to the doll. I'm not sure why it interests me so much. Maybe it's just the idea of this belonging to someone, that the little girl who owned it died right below us. Another child caught up in this mess. Gently smoothing down its matted, blonde hair, I brush the dust from her glass eyes. Blue. Icy blue. The numbness comes again. Sighing, I set it back in its crib and pull the quilt up to cover it.

"What I said earlier—"

A grimace takes over. I hurriedly shake my head and rush to cut Nancy off, "It's okay. Really. I mean, you were totally right. I'm not in a good space, haven't been for a while and I doubt it'll ever get better. And if you're pissed, you have a right to be. Shouldn't've shut you guys out like I did. Guess I was just scared of messing anyone else up, getting someone hurt with my shitty luck."

She reaches out then, squeezing my hand. The gesture startles me. "It'll get better, I know it will. Might take some time but you won't be dealing with it alone. You haven't been dealing with it alone. You've got friends, Beth. Lots of them."