clueless ♡ xiao

08 | Guilty Past, Gifted Future



Slicing the tofu in quarters, he delicately picked one of the pieces with a spoon and brung it to his mouth. He could taste the sweetness and softness of the gelatin, the texture slowly dissolving in his mouth like candy.

The almond tofu was as delicious as he remembered it to be, except this tofu was more than just the taste. The remembrance of your eyes gleaming with passion and your hands focused and precise had carved its way into Xiao's mind. And when you had rested your head on his shoulder...

Ah, stop it. That's enough.

Before Xiao could take in another slice of the gelatin, a loud clang hushed the stirring and chatting of teenagers in the classroom. A petite teal-haired boy appeared from the now open door and paraded himself up to Xiao's desk.

He swung his arm on the back of Xiao's neck, "My little junior! Oh, how I've missed you!"

"Why are you here, Venti?"

"Not even an 'I miss you too?' or a 'welcome home?" He sighed dramatically as he plopped himself on the nearest chair. Another day is another annoyance- Xiao thought, but at least the people around him continued on with their conversations and didn't listen in on his.

He began to neatly pack his lunch away, desperate to leave the conversation. However Venti didn't seem to catch on, and continued with his mindless rambling.

"You never send an email or text, I was wondering if you had died for a moment!" Venti teased, "Anyways, we need some catching up! The rest of our group even interviewed your little Y/n"

The bento box slipped from Xiao's hands, almost falling to the ground. He readied himself to hear a disappointing clunk on the ground- only to find Venti had caught the box amidst his shock.

"You did what?" Xiao facepalms, "This is why I don't hang out with you anymore."

The poet frowned at his last few words. It's true, he had been Xiao's only friend for quite a long time now. However since they were not only in separate departments, Venti was now a senior- meaning he had less time even sleeping and much less hanging out with anyone. Not to mention his overfilled schedule of choreography practice and theme-photoshoots.

"Sorry" Xiao admitted, "I know how tight your schedule is."

Venti softly smiled, "I think you're the only one in this school who really knows."

___

You couldn't remember the last time you had confessed your true feelings to someone. And not in a "I have a crush on you" sort of way, more of "I have this growing guilt filled with self-resentment for basically killing my one and only true friend at the time" sort of way.

Heizou was a very accommodating person to you. His considerate words calmed you down each and every time you begun to doubt about certain aspects of your explanation. In truth, your memories have gone hazy since the incident and you would like it to stay that way. Maybe then, you could move on with life like all of your other friends and be a normal person. A decent person.

"You don't have to tell me everything today" Heizou assured, "Just talk about what feels comfortable to you right now"

You sighed, your fuzzy memory slowly unfolding as you began to focus, "From the start I had grown to like her. Maybe a bit too much. We used to be the best of friends since basically pre-k, I guess it was because I've never really had good luck in making friends and neither did she"

Her smile wove into your mind, her hands interlaced with yours. Imagination can be so cruel, people's head can deceive their own heart with no mercy. Or maybe that was just you. Even imagining that made you feel so alone.