My Obsession With a Slanted Mirror

September 18, 2010

I have a lot to write but I really don't feel like it, however too much happened that I can't let it build up and save for later.

So I will start with Friday. Normal day, classes went on as usual. Came home, no one there, whatever I didn't really care anyways. Did homework quickly then got ready for the football game. I had to be there early so I just threw on my Westlake sweatshirt and a pair of skinnys and moccasins. I took pictures of the boys warming up, even though I didn't have to I kind of just wanted to get some pictures of James. Anyways, eventually people started showing up and I got some pictures of my friends. Most of the people there were the big partiers and were going to someones house after to drink and smoke and party. There was one funny group of guys who all dressed up in blue and orange warriors. We are the Westlake Warriors of course so I got a few pictures of them. 

I eventually snuck my way over to the visitors side to get some panoramic pictures of the whole home side. It looking like a spotted blue and orange blanket of people. I had enough shots for Mindy to use so I was just sitting on the visitor's side. I hadn't gone with anyone because Stacey was grounded from last weekend. I told her that she was probably going to get caught but she didn't listen to me. She would be a good sneak if it wasn't for her big mouth and wanting to talk about the events on the phone. She always gets in trouble because she talks so loud on the phone in her room. Again, if she wasn't such a big mouth she probably wouldn't be grounded. Her parents though aren't really that strict about drinking. They know what goes on at parties and they would rather her be more open to them about it. They told me that one night after we came home from a party and Stacey was so drunk she didn't even know what was going on. Her parents were suppose to be out of town, but there flight was canceled so they weren't leaving until the next day. The relationship with her parents is almost the same as mine, with as little talk between parents and child as possible. They never told her, and I tried to but she didn't believe me. 

Anyways, I was sitting on the visitors side when I spotted someone familiar. I took my camera to try and see if I could get a good shot of them to see who it was. I took the picture and when I looked at it it was Kelsea, and she was kissing another boy! I had to get a better shot so I went around the back of the bleachers and hid in a bush closest to her side and started taking pictures. She was holding hands and snuggling up with this dude. He wasn't even anything close to attractive, he didn't even compare to James. He had shaggy dirty blonde hair, and wore a burgundy beanie and had a lip peircing! EW! I mean seriously, I didn't know Kelsea was the hipster type as I noticed his skin tight jeans, dirty faded vans, and his deep V-neck. Plus his general unkept appearance gave it away too. Ugh! This made me so mad! How could she?

Monster maniacally laughed inside. It started to scratch and howl to be freed. It started to overcome me so I walked right in front of, gave her a glare to make sure she knew I saw and walked off to the home side. I wanted to yell at her so bad, but that would be giving Monster the satisfacton and I wasn't going to do that. I was going to be strong while I still could. I didn't want to watch the rest of the game so I sat at the wall by the bathrooms. I sat there and went over all the pictures I had taken over and over again. Mostly just the ones of Kelsea. 

I didn't even realize that the game was over when James had walked up right next to me. He laughed at me, I must have looked stupid or something. He asked me what I was doing and then sat down next to me. He wasn't wearing a shirt and he kind of smelt, but he had just played football so what was I expecting. I quickly turned my camera off as he asked if he could look at them. Of course I said 'no', but ugh! I wanted to tell him everything. Then he started talking about her and how he wasn't sure if he was going to get back with her becuase it didn't feel right, but he knew he had feelings for her so he wanted to give it a second shot to see how it would go. I just told him that he needed to give it time. Maybe I'll be lucky and she'll end things for good with him, or he will, I don't know.

I stood up because the concrete was killing my butt and the wall wasn't helping much either. James stood up as well and followed me to my car. I didn't really want to talk much, I didn't want to spill the beans, I didn't want to be the bearer of bad new.  Thank God that didn't happen, but something else did. I leaned my back against my car as he was talking. He was going on about things like parties and girls and things that guys like to talk about, I wasn't really paying attention. Then all of a sudden he put one of his hands right above my shoulder and I could feel his body heat he was so close. My throat went dry and my heart started to pound. He kept on talking, and then he got on the subject of kissing. That definitely caught my attention. My heart was racing really fast and his head kept on getting closer and closer to mine. I knew what was coming, I put my head down and held a fist to his stomach to stop him from getting closer. The only thing I said was 'no' and then I got in my car and left him.

Why was he doing this to me? He had me totally confused. I struggled to keep tears from falling from my face as I drove. I made it safely home then went to my room to cry. I cried because I wanted him so bad. I cried because I really liked him. I cried because I was confused. What type of persons says they really like their ex-girlfriend and want to try and get back with them then tries to kiss another? I needed to clear my head. 

I took HER out. She stood there very pretty, all perfect with HER slim features. She would never do that to a guy, she new what she wanted and she was confident enough to know that if she wanted it she could have it. HER, is what he wanted, and HER is what he deserved, but I was not HER.

So now comes today. It was a typical day except for the fact that Father and Marie were home, and were planning a family outing with the four of us. We all went to Corner Bakery Cafe for breakfast. Then we went to the duck park. It was really cute watching Stevie feeding bread to all the ducks, he was so excited about it too! 

Later, in the night is when the real interesting stuff begins. Jake came and picked me up around 7, it was already dark outside. I didn't know what to expect for this date so I just wore leggings, a crewneck sweatshirt and some flats. We got in his truck and we started driving. I was getting really nervous as we were going in a direction I knew all too well. We ended up at 'The View' a view you can see all of Los Angeles valley and also the ocean. He layed a blanket in the back of his trunk. He said we were going to look at the star tonight. I was actually really fun at first getting to see all of the sparkling lights in the sky. He brought some snacks for us to munch on as we talked. Then I started to get a bad feeling about all of it. Jake slowly was making his way closer and closer to me. I kept up the conversation as eventually made his way to my right side. I sat up and leaned my back against the truck. He sat up to right next to me. I tried not to look at him but he said my name and I turned to look. He kissed me! He had kissed me! His hand started going up and down my curves, every once in a while squeezing a little. I didn't even wanted to kiss him let alone be fondled my him! I broke out of it and jumped into the car. I slammed the door as hard as I could to show him I was mad. He hopped in the car and he drove me home. He had a deep sense of satisfaction on his face, but I didn't say a word the whole time home. He dropped me off and we said our good-byes. Ugh! He wasn't even a good kisser! Plus, his mouth tasted really bad!

Well, I'm sure this is one thats going to be talked about for some time because I know Jake is the kiss and tell type. Great, just what I need right now. Well whatever, as long as I'm not know as a whore I'm ok with it. Anyhow, I have to get to bed because we're going to church tomorrow for once. I wonder what Father and Marie are up to that they decide to go to church for the first time in like 3 years.