LETTER TO MY LOVE

1st one - Letting go of the heavy topics

Sorry love

 
You don't say it much, but I know that I have irritated you too much. For a month now I am gonna keep it simple. No heavy topics. If I ever get a question I'll just write it down here. If I feel insecure I'll remind myself that you are the reason I get up most mornings. It is ok if you Don't love me because loving someone is not about getting love, it's about seeing that person happy and if you aren't happy with me I'll move on. I have to and I will. I have done it before- I can do it again. My love is enough for both of us. No ex, no purani fights, no insecurities, no frequent calls, no expecting you to be there always because I didn't realize it until now but these things take a mental toll on both of us equally. If I am affected by this then you are too probably even more than me.

 
I'll remind myself how you were there when I needed you. When you said you didn't care, you could have just left that. At that moment but rather than doing that, leaving things the way they were, you were there sorting things out. When I was feeling low that I wasn't able to join my friends because of my studies you were there in the middle of the night cheering me up with that cheeky song of yours. When I was feeling way too frustrated because I wasn't able to do my studies properly you were there with me. When I was freaking out about my future at 5 in the morning you were there. You were there in my pain to listen about my past- to listen about my future. You were there when I said that I wanna vine about stuff. You were there when you knew that I am at my weakest, so what if you Don't communicate that properly I know you are trying and I have seen the efforts, these little things, asking me to eat properly, sit properly so I Don't hurt my back, mailing me when you lost your phone, you could have just easily me MIA for days and came back with a very good excuse that you lost your phone and I would have had no reason to complain about it also but you mailed me saying that you lost your phone so that I don't get worried - that babe ....that is one of the reason I think that I am done giving you a hard time, now if my brain thinks of a crazy idea I'll just shut up and be like meh I have already given you too much to deal with on your plate.

You have done enough for me. You are everything a girl can ask for. Even today when I said that I think things are moving According to you, that was not fair of me. No one can force you to feel the things you are not feeling. It's ok if we do not feel the same things always. we are two different people, two different minds we are supposed to feel different about things. And honestly, I know that I am giving a lot of time to you but you have also got to understand a thing that nowadays all I have to do is study and you being the love of my life is a very good distraction but you know what.... my studies, my career is something which is mine. you know what kind of things I have been through in my life, I have seen enough to understand that my books are my best friends, they are gonna support me more than you can ever do, more than anyone can ever do. My studies are something which is mine and to give that up for a boy who has just entered my life -I know that I am stupid, crazy but not that much.

So yeah ending this I would say that yeah you are someone I am not letting go of that easy but if you Don't feel happy, if we don't feel happy with where we are with our relationship or us individually I will happily let you go.

Today when we were talking you said a thing that you miss out on having past relationship experiences and I asked you "do you want to have these experiences?" I am gonna ask this question every month and the moment you say yes to this question I will let you go without even trying to stop you. I love you too much to see you not doing something you want to or not doing something you regret later because if you do something you regret later just for my sake then you are gonna end up hating me. So I'll just move on. Maybe I'll get a better guy than you or you'll get a better girl than me. If even one of us gets a better life by moving on, then yeah- letting us go will be worth it.

It pains me to even think about what you feel about my exes so yeah I promise myself not to bring up that topic again in our conversations until and unless it is too necessary. Once again no heavy topics, no exes, no past fights, no past, no weird questions. Do not wanna be a pain in the ass to you.

Your love
(At least for now )
P.S. - bilkul sambhal kr rakhenge aapka dil khudse bhi ziada .