Begin Again

| Chapter Nine |

Ruth swallowed thickly, her panicked urge of flight kicking in just as it had before. Her mind was spinning with confusion, her heart pounding practically outside of her chest. She wanted to move. She wanted to scream and bellow if her body allowed it, but it didn't.

Instead, Ruth was pinned to the spot.

Hollowed summers of hickory burned ten feet across from where she was standing, igniting her defenseless heart into a fit of smoke. Her body flushed at the way his sinfully familiar lips parted and closed with no words pouring out from between them. Something about the familiar way he ran his fingers nervously through his hair made her heart ache, and she suddenly had the urge to find Emily and run far away from the party.

Raffo, in all of his glory, watched her with a sad glint in his beautiful eyes, his jaw tight. He balled his hands into tight fists and stuffed them into a pair of dark pants, his button-up shirt tight on his muscled body, and strained halfway down his forearms. The familiarity of his medallion was nearly too much for her as she took a retreating step back.

The step snapped Raffo out of his glacier of shock.

"Ruth," he whispered, and it took every ounce of willpower not to close her eyes and listen to the familiar deep tone that had plagued her for three years.

Ruth swallowed thickly. How was it there were dozens of people throughout the hall, and she was practically alone with the person she disliked most in the world? It wasn't fair. Hadn't he already ruined her life enough? Did he really have to come back for a fucking part 2?

She took another step back, her gaze already flitting for a way out.

"Ruth, please," he tried again.

"Don't," she said harshly. Him saying her name like that was unbearable.

Raffo pushed out a heavy breath of air, his hollowed cheeks tightening with the action. Fuck.

"I just want to talk," he pleaded, voice soft.

Ruth didn't know what he wanted, and it frustrated her that she couldn't tell just by looking at him. But whatever he wanted to sell, she wasn't going to buy. She didn't have time for him or any of his lies, and she needed to get out of there as quickly as her legs could take her.

"I have nothing to say to you," Ruth hissed, tone dripping with hatred. There was nothing he could say to her after three years that would ever make her want to have a conversation with him ever again.

Raffo flinched. Ruth tried hard to convince herself that the action to her words didn't bother her. If she could cut her mother off, she could do the same to him.

"Ruth," he tried again, and she shook her head quickly, her curls bouncing across her face.

"Don't say my name," she whispered. It brought back too many memories for her. Painful memories.

Raffo shifted on his feet, his gaze glancing away from her as if she too brought back too much for him. As if seeing her was just as unbearable. But that didn't make any sense. He was the one who fucked up a good thing. He was the one who didn't show up to the airport and didn't spend the last three years pining over someone he loved with his whole heart.

No, she was just a stepping stone to him.

And that thought made Ruth both painfully ill and beyond angry.

When he turned back to look at her, his gaze fell on something behind Ruth that she didn't pay attention to, but it didn't take long for her to feel the pressure of slender fingers pushing through hers. A familiar hand that gripped hers with enough strength that flowed through her veins. She didn't have to look back to know that Emily was there, her presence protective as she stood close to the side of her. She wrapped her other hand affectionately around Ruth's arm.

"You okay, babe?" Emily murmured, her voice hard. One glance told Ruth she was glaring heatedly at the ghost of her past in front of them.

Raffo's gaze snapped back to Ruth. Something similar to betrayal swirled in his brown gaze, his expression cold as his jaw tightened.

His eyes screamed, how could you?

But her heart screamed, how could I? HOW COULD I?

Did he really think she wouldn't move on? That she'd sit around and wait for him to be ready after all that he had done to her?

Just the thought made her snort.

"I can see I've made a mistake," he finally muttered, tightly. His brooding gaze from when they had first met at the convenience store now moved across the once apologetic brown crystals like an eclipse.

"Clearly," Ruth bit out, her words sharp as ice.

Raffo, guarded now, shook his head incredulously and wandered out of the hall, possibly leaving the party for the rest of the night. Good.

But it didn't . . . it didn't feel good. Was it supposed to?

"Did you know he was coming?" Emily asked, the first to recover. She shook a blinking Ruth, trying to gather her attention with a nudge.

"No," Ruth murmured faintly, her mind distant. Did Jana know Eddie was going to invite Raffo? Granted, they were still probably best friends, but she could have warned her he was coming. Why would she keep that a secret?

Emily frowned. "Are you sure? They never said anything to you?"

Ruth shook her head, her throat clogging. "Maybe Eddie knew but Jana didn't. It's not like this is my wedding party. They can invite whoever they want."

"Not at your expense!"

"I never forced Eddie to stop being friends with Raffo just because he hurt me. This is his party too and if he wanted to invite him then he can," she huffed, tiredly. She rubbed at her forehead. "I don't think he's going to talk to me again, anyway. Not now that he's seen me with you."

Emily was still frowning with her nose twitching in clear dismay. But what else could she say? What else could either of them say with Ruth and Raffo's past dangling right in front of them?

"Is this the first time he's—"

"Honey-bee! So, this is your Emily," Uncle Rickey called from behind them, breaking Ruth out of her pondering thoughts and halting Emily's question.

Ruth cursed silently to herself, already knowing what Emily was going to ask. She had no other choice but to come clean.

Some party this turned out to be, Ruth thought with a grimace as she turned around to face her uncle.

*****