Begin Again

| Chapter Twenty-Five |

Ruth couldn't breathe.

Raffo had stolen whatever was left of it with just the tantalizing movement of his soft lips. He'd pull and caress her tongue in a dance that made her knees weak the further she melted into him. Clasping her hand behind his neck, she released a soft whimper that Raffo used as a chance to kiss her deeper. She met his tongue stroke for stroke, his lips caress for caress, and his hands grab for pull. Soft groans and gasps left their lips as he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth or when she sucked around his tongue.

His lips traced the familiar pattern of her mouth like the last time they kissed was just yesterday instead of three-and-a-half years ago. He set her soul alight with the skimming of his skillful fingers along her sides, making every curve to memory. Ruth could have cried he felt that good. Hell, maybe she did.

She didn't know, nor did she care.

How often had she dreamed of those haunting lips of Raffo's? How often had she daydreamed about being pressed against him again with his hands hot on her trembling body? It wasn't normal to want him how she did; for as long as she did. Most people eventually get over their ex. And while Ruth had deeply cared for Emily, and appreciated the relationship they had built (on lies, but that was beside the point Ruth was trying to make), she could never commit to getting over him entirely. It was like fate kept whispering, "No! Hang on a little longer." And ultimately, she was glad that she did.

Ruth, despite all that lost time, was still on fire. She was still shuddering and gasping and tugging and—

Raffo pulled back enough to give the both of them a breath of gasping air, their eyes wild and feverish as they stared openly at one another. He partially closed his eyes and licked his swollen red lips slowly, relishing her taste. Ruth breathed out shakily and pressed her fingers to her tingling lips, still reeling from whatever had just happened.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, regaining whatever they lost after drowning in each other. Much to her relief, Raffo opened his pretty eyes and was the first to speak.

"Thank you," Raffo finally breathed, pressing his forehead against Ruth's. His fingers were hot against her flushed cheeks, cradling her face delicately.

She exhaled shakily. She almost forgot how absolutely mind-blowing his kisses were, and she still needed a second to gather herself. Him being so close didn't help worth a damn, and it took all of her focus to recognize the words he had spoken and come up with a suitable response.

"For what?" she asked, her voice unstable and breathless.

He moved back just enough to pull her chin up, capturing her gaze. "For what you said before I kissed you. You didn't have to," he confessed. She frowned at his words.

"Yes, I did," Ruth argued, wrapping herself back around him. "I know what insecurity looks like, Raff, and I can't stand the thought of you going through what you did alone. And I hope you know I meant every single word."

"I know you did. I believe you," he reassured her softly. He hugged her body tightly to his chest, and all felt right in the world again.

She sagged in relief against him, glad that he took her words seriously. Emily was a bitch for how she treated them, but it truly bugged Ruth how she treated him specifically. Raffo dealt with emotional, verbal, and physical abuse for years. He deserved better than Emily's cruel words.

Ruth knew some of what she was doing was deflecting on what happened, but she couldn't face that yet. She didn't want to open the floodgates and fall down that rabbit hole just yet, and she was honest about that with Raffo when he asked if she wanted to talk about it. She'd love to, but she wasn't ready yet.

And Raffo, being the beautiful man that he was, nodded his head. "I'm here to talk whenever you're ready, baby," he promised, tucking a curl behind Ruth's ear. "I won't rush you."

Ruth fell forward, recapturing his lips.

Because little did he realize, those words were exactly enough, and precisely what she needed to hear.

*****

For the rest of the day, Ruth and Raffo lounged around Jana's apartment doing absolutely nothing. They barely moved themselves from the couch unless to go to the bathroom and find some much needed food in Jana's fridge or pantry. But mostly, they didn't stray from the couch, their bodies making up for lost time with stolen kisses, wandering hands, and warm embraces.

Currently, Ruth was curled up to Raffo's chest as they laid next to one another on the couch. She peppered soft butterfly kisses underneath his jaw and he sighed, trailing his fingers up and down her side, burning her skin whenever the tips of them would skim her flesh under a rising shirt.

"When is Jana coming back?" Raffo asked, curiously after cuddling for another few hours.

Ruth shrugged. "Not until sometime tomorrow. Why?"

He hesitated and Ruth moved back from his face, eyeing him curiously. "I was thinking. Since it's getting late, and I don't want you to have to sleep on a blowup mattress that maybe we could . . . I don't know, go to my apartment for the night? If you're comfortable," he rushed.

Ruth paused. She furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you sure? I don't want to impose on your space or anything."

"You won't," he reassured her, quickly. His cheeks flushed as he glanced away from her. "And I'm sure. I actually uh—wanted you to see it. I've never been able to afford my own space before, but I think you'll like it."

Her heart swelled in her chest at his admittance and she pressed a warm hand to the sharp curve of his cheek, regaining his attention. Uncertainty lingered in his eyes. "You have nothing to prove to me, Raff. I hope you know that."

"I know," he whispered, swallowing thickly.

"Good."

There was a short pause, before Raffo continued.

"We can take a Lyft over because it's not that far and I'll just drive you back in my car tomorrow afternoon," he planned, a small smile glowing across his handsome face.

Ruth couldn't stop herself from leaning over and kissing that handsome face one more time.

*****

Raffo's vulnerability with her has come a long way! I'm so proud of my mans y'all. He's never been wounded like that before, so he's gonna seem hesitant about certain things when it comes to Ruth, even if she reassures him because of the damn insecurities. But don't worry! Ruth and Raffo are on their way to rebuild what someone destroyed! Ruth is patient and will be there for Raffo however he needs it, just like he's always been there for her when she needed it.

It's weird to see the roles reverse a little in this book compared to the last one, but that's pain and character growth for you! And these characters really have grown so much, I'm proud of them.