Trust Issues

CHAPTER ELEVEN

It's been a few weeks since the crying incident, I came to work and acted like nothing happened and he never asked. We've hung out a few times after that and screwed around even more, but I made sure to keep some distance between us. The office has come to their own conclusions about us now being an official couple, I stopped responding to their questions while Dave just awkwardly tries to change the topic.

I guess to outsiders we do look like a couple, we go on dates, sleep over at each other's houses, Dave even gets me little gifts from time to time (though thinking back on it, he was probably just trying to make me feel better after having me cry in his face for five minutes). On the outside we probably look like this perfect couple, too bad it's all a farce. Since I found out Dave was in love with me I locked my feelings off even more, I also tried to interact with him less. I put my growing feelings for him on standstill, instead I have a new emotion that's constantly growing for him. I have been feeling guilty a lot when I'm with him, after we have sex I can't help but think of how my actions have affected him. Has he fallen for me even more because we slept together? I made eye contact with him for a bit longer than usual. Did I make his heart race? Our hands brushed against each other during our meeting, is he falling now? Everytime we interact my head is full of questions, I can't get him out of my head anymore. I constantly think of how he'll react when I end things with him.

I stare in the direction of his office, he seems to be in a meeting with another coworker. I sigh and go back to work, I try to keep my mind in one place but it's constantly pulling me in one direction. I see Kate walking in from her break and sending her my help eyes.

"What up?"

"Kate, I think I need to break things off with Dave."

"What? Why? You guys were doing well, you were actually starting to like him more."

"I know but........I think he's in love with me."

".............WHAT?"

"Sssshhhh, my god Kate the whole block could hear that."

"Sorry, sorry but like how did you find out?"

"I had a breakdown when he came over for pasta and cake, you know the day we went to the mall with the girls. I just lost it, the wedding finally hit me and I just let it all out in front of him."

"Oh that probably wasn't pretty."

"It wasn't yet, he looked at me like I was the best thing he's seen his whole life. I can't even tell if he's just now looking at me like that or if he always had and I just never noticed."

"......."

"....Kate? Why aren't you saying anything?"

"No reason."

"Kate?"

"Fine, fine that's the reason everyone has been pushing for you guys. At first he just had a crush on you, we'd tease him for it relentlessly. About a year ago after the christmas party ,the one when you guys had a moment, we noticed the way he looked at you changed. He was no longer looking at his crush, he was looking at the person he loved, you just never seemed to notice."

"Kate, if he's in love with me I can't bring him to the wedding, I definitely can't continue this friends with benefits thing."

"Brook, he only said yes to that because this was the only way he could be with you. Stopping it now isn't going to save him from heart ache, he's been in love with you for almost a year now that's not going to change. Now if you'll excuse me I have a meeting to get to."

I watched Kate leave and let out a sigh, he's been in love with me this whole time and I never noticed. It's only been a few months since my ex and I broke up, it's been over a year since he started cheating on me. It'll be his wedding in two weeks, and I already told him I would come. I can't back down from this now, I can't turn my back on Dave just because I'm scared. Locking my heart away isn't going to make things better, it's going to hinder the way I experience life.

With a newfound resolve I get up from my desk and head towards Daves office, it looks like he's wrapping up his meeting. I nodded at my coworker as they left the office and made my way in. Dave's at his desk scrolling through emails, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and the top buttons of his dress shirt undone. I slowly make my way towards him and wait until he notices my presence, I don't wait long as he spots me in the reflection of his monitor. He almost jumped when he realised I was there, I had to stop myself from laughing. He turns around to face me with a smile on his face as he looks me up and down, a pervert as always shamelessly checking me out at work of all places. I stifle a smile and walk towards him, I stop right in front of him and lean down so we're face to face. I ignore the shocked look on his face and give his lips a gentle peck. I can see the surprised looks on the coworkers who decided to spy on us. I move to the other side of the desk and take a seat, waiting for him to regain focus.

"Wa-what was that for?"

"An apology."

"An apology? What for?"

"For ignoring you these past few weeks. I know I've been distant and I know you were probably confused and hurt and I'm sorry for that."

"It's fine, I knew you had your reasons and with your ex's wedding coming up. I know you're not fully over what happened and that you lock yourself off from others to protect yourself. I know me saying I would treat you better and that I'd show you a side of love he never had just sounds like empty promises to you but I'm being genuine. I care about you and I'd try my best to make good on my promises."

"I know. I know how you think of me, and I guess I kept my distance because I thought those feelings would go away if I did. I should have faced it head on instead of running away. I'm done running, I'm tired of denying my heart what it wants."

"What does your heart want?"

"It wants to love again; It misses the butterflies, the serenity of just being with the person it loves, it wants to dedicate itself solely to that one person. It also wants that person to...be you Dave."

".....you're joking with me aren't you?"

"I'm being serious dave."

"Your heart wants me?"

"It wants to give you a shot. I'll stop running from this, because deep down I want you Dave."

"I want you too, I've wanted you for a long time now."

"Since the Christmas party."

"H-how did you?"

"Everyone knows Dave....it just took me a while to notice."

"Ugh, great you know I'm in love with you."

"I do, and I'm ready to let myself fall for you too, but to do that we need to survive that wedding first."

"Now that I can handle it, we'll make a story so good they won't suspect a thing."

Dave opens up a new word document on his computer and starts typing. He starts listing off general facts about us that he's discovered since our 'relationship' started. I help add some things to the list and we get started on a backstory. We decided to keep the information as close to the truth as possible.

{We've always been close friends ever since we met, the others in the office thought we looked good together and tried to make us an item. I was with my ex at the time so I just took what they said as they were just joking around, unbeknownst to me Dave actually had a crush on me and the others knew of it too. At the christmas party Dave and I hung out in the corner of the office watching the others get drunk and merry, we talked about life and had a moment I brushed it off as the booze talking and moved on. Then he cheated on me, using my closeness with Dave to justify his actions. After the breakup Dave was my main support person, he helped me heal. I went back into the dating world and had some hookups but none of them felt right, that's when one drunk night I hooked up with Dave. The next morning we played it off as a mistake but I couldn't help but feel drawn to him. After a while he confessed and I decided to give a relationship with him a chance. We've been together ever since, each saying I can feel my love for him grow and grow. I can't imagine my life without him at this point. I'm glad you invited us. I wanted to tie up some loose ends from the past and move forward and us coming here was a good way to show you that I was ready to put all this baggage behind us.}

After an hour we came up with the perfect cover up story, it has elements of the past and came off as very realistic. I hope this will fool them, if not I'm screwed.