What happens when you're just a story written under the moonlit sky? What happens when the only boy you love becomes a faded memory of just someone you used to know? What happens when you can't get your heart back, but that boy left you tattered and...
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They say love is all consuming and maybe that's true. Maybe that's why I feel like that boy has tangled every part of me in him. They also say if you love someone to set them free. But they don't know us, do they? They don't know our date nights and the way my heart tears a little more every time I see him so dismantled by the aftermath of his life. They also don't see me breaking apart because it's been a week since I have seen him. He parked the truck in my drive on prom night, walked me to the door and kissed my cheek. Then Zachariah got on his Harley and drove away. He's sent me a total of three texts.
Zachariah: I just need to get away for a little bit. I will be back.
Zachariah: You did nothing wrong; I just need some space.
Zachariah: I will be home soon.
The last was sent three days ago and as I sit in this chair in the middle of the night waiting for the subtle light of his Harley my heart tears a little more. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to push him. Maybe I should I heeded to his words that he wanted to wait. But a place deep inside of me was so gone for that boy that waiting no longer seemed possible.
Sometime in the night I drift off in that same chair clinging to the hope that I will see him soon. I wake up to the orange morning sky as the sound of a motorcycle reverberates through the quiet of my room. But he isn't here is he? He's gone still. That's when I notice my window is slightly open and sitting on my window frame is a small box. I glance around like that boy will be here, but just his ghost lingers in the space of my room as our memories filter across my mind.
I pick up the small black box and open it. Inside I find a small note.
I will be back soon baby. I just need to find myself.
I stare at that note and finally set it to the side with plans to put it in my journal. I go back to the box and what I see has my body trembling. It's a necklace with a firefly pendant and a sun pendant. To others it may seem silly, but to me it's everything. It's all things that say who we are and how my love for him fills every space of me.
I must've fallen asleep sometime after receiving Zachariah's gift. I wake up to the peppy voice of my best friend. "Come on Remi. It's time to get up. The suns out and I want to go swimming at the creek." She plops down on the chair beside me and has a smile too bright for me.
I groan and push her away. "I don't want to go swimming Mia."
She smiles again. "You can't sit here all day waiting for him Remi. So, let's get up and get your mind off of him."
I get up and change. But she's wrong. The whole day at the creek my mind is on him. On the day we snuck away and danced. The feel of his skin lingers on my own as I close my eyes laying out on a towel. The huskiness of his southern drawl as my name leaves his lips. Nothing is the same when he is gone. Yet, I still feel him.
"You've been playing with that necklace all day." Mia says as she grabs a towel to dry off.
I glance down at the charms encased between my fingers. "He left it in my room last night."
A small smile plays on her full pink lips. "Yeah, I can see him doing that." I'm about to ask what she means, but she talks again before I get the chance. "He loves you Remi. He's not just going to leave you."
"He doesn't love me." I snap. "If he did, wouldn't he be here?" I feel the hot tears building in my eyes. Why does that boy have so much power over me?
"He does love you." She insists. "He will be back. And he wouldn't have left that for you if he didn't love you Remi. Just because he doesn't say it doesn't mean anything. You should know that firsthand. I mean your own momma said she loved you your whole life. Where is she now?"
"Where is he?" I counter. My voice has risen, and people are looking at us. Great. In a small-town gossip runs like wildfire. But it a way I think that's good. Maybe it will reach that boy wherever he is.
"He will be back." She persists. Like she knows something I don't.
I shake my head then grab my towel and walk away. I'm done with it all. I just want to know where I stand. How he feels. Why he would leave me.
Running through the trees, I trip over a rock in my rush to get home. I fall to the ground. Mud caking my knees as the tears fall faster down my face. I can't breathe and my chest tightens with every strangled breath I try to take. I just sit there letting the feelings rush through me. Maybe if I let it all out, I will be okay.
Arms wrap around me, but I fight to break loose of their hold. I need to get away and back to my room. But then a voice breaks through my fight and all the tension tangled up inside of me leaves my body.
"I love you so much Remington that it scares the heck out of me. I love the way your brown eyes light up when you see me. I love how you are gentle yet stern when you want something. I love how you go weak in my touch like I have all the power over you when really it's you that has all the power over me." He puts his thumb under my chin and turns my head to face him. "I love you so much. But that love scares me more than anything. Because losing someone you love is hard baby. And the thought of losing you drives me mad. So, I had to get away. I had to get some time to myself to sort my feelings out. But I'm not going anywhere. I love you and even when I leave for the military I will still be here because my heart will be here with you."
"You love me?" My voice breaks as the whisper comes out on a plea.
He kisses my forehead then leans his against mine. "Yeah, darlin' I love you."
I wrap my arms around him and hold on. So scared that if I let go, he will disappear. "I love you, Zachariah."
He holds me closer, and we just stay there locked in each other's embrace. "Let's get out of here baby."
