A/N: I am starting to think that I should have just ended with book 1 and just made it one book 😅 I don't really like how this 2nd book is going or it just doesn't feel right. I might just end this soon, but I also don't want to leave you guys with something crappy or unfinished. Anyways...maybe I'll reread book 1 and what I have for book 2 and decide from there.
Or let me know what you guys think too?
I feel like this book storyline should have just been a storyline for a different book...if that makes any sense 😅
Anyways...don't be alarmed if I unpublished some chapters or all of them. I really want to make the book feel right, but for now I'll let you read this chapter.
LISA'S POV
5 years later...
To think I had the strength to come back here. The place that I got everything I wanted and the place that I had lost everything. It was great living deep in the province of Thailand. No way to be contacted. Just having to be there with myself. My own thoughts. I know I told her that I would call once in a while to check on the kids, but I could never have the urge to speak.
5 years.
I would call when I had the chance to head into the city once a month, but I wouldn't speak. She knew it was me. She would update me on the kids despite the silence that I gave through the other side. Hearing her voice at least once a month had honestly kept me sane. I kinda stopped calling every month. It started to be every other month, then every 2 months, then to I don't know when the last time I called.
5 years.
I also told my mom I had to leave. That I needed space to recollect my thoughts. She was mad that I decided to disappear, but she understood. She said dad had done the same thing, but it wasn't for as long as I did.
5 years.
Thoughts on why I started to talk to someone. I know we both did, but she didn't believe that I cut this off because that woman kept showing up again. As for her...She truly did not ever talked to the one she was talking to ever again. I guess that guy left for the states or something. She never even met him in person.
5 years.
I realized that it wasn't just my relationship that was rocky, but my relationship with myself. It's easy for me to hide my feelings. Just had to put a smile on my face and bury my anxieties deep within. I knew I needed to be on my own and figure myself out.
5 years.
I hope she's happy. I hope that she doesn't hate me for leaving. I feel like she knew why because she was one of the only people I was able to actually talk about my anxieties.
5 years.
But I felt that I needed to come back now. I feel better and the country life really helped me find ways to relax. I made some great friends, but I missed my son and other kid that I don't even know if she had a girl or boy. She never mentioned on the phone when I'd call. I think she knew not to say because it would drive me crazy. All she ever said was that she calls the kid Neli and that she'll tell me the whole name when I meet the kid one day.
5 years.
I left with no regrets because I knew I had to. I knew that if I stayed, all I would do is hurt her when I'm not even trying to or wanting to.
5 FUCKING YEARS.
...
I'm walking the streets of Seoul and it's great to be back again. I was craving for some ice cream, so I decided to go try some at this one place Jennie loved to get her ice cream cravings. There I go again thinking about her.
And just my fucking luck. Seoul seems like a big city, yet it feels so small...
I turn around hoping she doesn't realize it's me. Please dear Jisoos don't recog...
"You." FUCK. I look back and see the most beautiful person that I've missed so much.
"You again." I say back and give a soft smile. It's been five long years since I've seen her and I honestly didn't think I'd be back here. I didn't think I'd come back to the place that has given me so much love, but also so much hurt.
To think I've finally moved on. To think I was finally strong. Strong enough to come back to come back. To think I was already prepared to handle being able to see her and be around her.
And she's right in front of me and I'm about to breakdown.
We stand there in front of the store entrance.
"Babe, the kids want ice cream, but I told them we have to eat lunch first." A good looking guy tells her and she looks at this person.
"Yeah, okay...I'll meet you inside. Where are the kids?" She asks looking at this person.
"In the car with mom. I'm going to go get them. I'll let you finish babe. We'll be inside." This person kisses her check and she gives a small smile to this person.
"I should let you go." I was walking away, but then she speaks. I stop in my tracks when she said my name.
"Lisa... They miss you a lot. Especially Theo. If you ever want to meet them again, just call the com-company." Her voice cracks.
I don't say anything and just keep walking. I didn't turn around because my eyes could no longer hold back the tears that built up.
I thought I was ready.
I thought I was okay.
But here I am again.
Even though I know it's always you, and it will always be...
I'm walking away and I hope I don't regret it again.
At least she has found someone to make her happy like I used to.
FLASHBACK
After that woman left the restaurant Jennie and Lisa started fighting again to the point that they will end everything they fought for.
"TELL ME. TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE JENNIE!"
"I...I don't love you." She says with no emotions even though her face is full of tears.
"YOUR...your lying..." Lisa's voice gets soft. The amount of hurt you can hear in her voice cannot be measured.
"Goodbye Lisa." She tries to leave and Lisa back hugs Jennie.
"Stay. Please. We'll...we'll fix this! We need to talk it out."
"What is left to fix and talk about?" Jennie replies and remove her hands.
"I'm tired Lisa."
"Okay then...I'll go." Lisa says and Jennie was about to say something, but Lisa goes by the door but doesn't look back.
"I'll go. I'm sorry for being a screw up. I always knew that I never deserved you. Ever since New Zealand and moving here to Seoul. I don't know why I ever gave someone else attention. Maybe because I felt the distance we had when we had our first misunderstanding in the office. I know we tried to fix it. Fix the trust. I'm just blabbing now...But I love you more than I do myself Jennie Ruby Jane Kim. I'll have the annulment papers sent to you. I'll also give you full custody of the kids. I just hope that when I can call, you'll let me talk with them. Or don't. Tell Theo Dada Love has some business to tend to and I'll call when I can."
Lisa leaves and Jennie locks the door and slides down to the floor. Lisa does the same on the other side.
I love you Lisa. Jennie thinks in her head as she looks down on her empty ring finger.
I love you Jennie. Lisa thinks as she removes her wedding band and slips it into her pocket.
She leaves not realizing that it was going to be her biggest regret, but She knew she needed to. They have been through a lot. From high school to now.
Maybe space is what they needed because all they ever knew was each other. Maybe that's why they confided in others and not with each other when things started to get rocky. Maybe...just maybe they weren't meant to be as they thought.
