In The Dark...

chapter 12: To love again

Warnings this chapter contains triggering content please be advised!!

Jason: I think it will be a privilege for a man like him to fall in love with me.. my issue is I don't want him to get hurt... Not that I'm not ready for a relationship I've been through a lot in my life.. I fell in love once.. I was so madly in love that I was going to marry this man.. I took the step to become a father with him we adopted a little boy umm...

Nanny: sweetheart if you're not ready to get this out of your chest and take your time don't push yourself..

Jason: years ago.. I even try to erase him with a woman but I couldn't, she saw right through me... The day that kyro came into my office looking for a job. I smelled his scent,my heart skipped a beat.. when I heard his voice I could not believe how beautiful his voice sounded... And when he told me he had a son I backed up and got cold.. the reason why I can't see myself in a relationship.. one is my eyes are useless.. Two I barely even sleep because all I have is nightmares of the reason why I am blind and 3 a man broke my heart so bad that it left me empty inside... I can't even remember how real love feels... But at one point I felt like I was giving too much and not receiving it... We had finally had the adoption papers approved.. our little boy was finally home.. but after 5 months of our boy being home I felt a big change in my partner's behavior. He became more secretive.. like the more I asked what was wrong the more he got angry... It was a constant argument after argument... One day I wanted to change it all so I got him some of his favorite foods and I wanted to do something special... As you know Dino has access to my house.. when I came home with my mother.. because she was the one I was with getting all the supplies for a special night with my partner... When I got home I saw Dino arguing with my partner... Our son was crying and I sensed another man there, the cologne was very strong... Turns out that those five months that I had my son my partner was cheating on me with one of my employees.... And Dino caught them red-handed. Do you know what made him tell me the truth... The man that was there did not really speak he just left.. I was badly hurt.. I was so destroyed... So I asked him to leave to pack his stuff and leave.. I saw that he really didn't care about our boy.. couple months passing I just couldn't take care of him... One day I accidentally burned his finger trying to cook something for him and I turned and accidentally burned him with the pan I can cook for myself but I didn't know he was there I didn't feel him on the side of me when I turned he touched the frying pan out of reaction and he got burned.. our boy went to daycare so someone reported it and knew that a little boy was living with a blind man... They took him away from me.. I try hardest to fight for him but it was useless... So I decided after losing them both that I will never fall in love again that I will never allow someone to hurt me again....

Nanny: oh my dear.... You don't deserve what happened to you of what I have seen you're a very good man... So the room that kima is in was your little boys room...

Jason: yes of course I did some changes and cleaned it up for kima almost everything that's in the room was my son's... And when I knew that a little boy was going to live with me again... I knew I had to give him that room.. and it's good to see him happy with it.. but I fear that I will get so attached to them too that I will fall in love with both of them...kyro and Kima deserve so much better... But I'm not willing to give them up...

Nanny: so let me get this straight you are falling in love with kyro and you want to be kima's other Papa.. but you afraid of getting hurt... Jason listen..I get it sucks to get hurt and you are trying to do everything to stay away from love... But unfortunately loves always finds you and you least want it... Just take it slow, don't push yourself and don't push them away because you feel like you can't love again... Because you never know if they're in love will make you whole again... All I'm saying is just take your time.... No one's perfect because we're only human and we have feelings, trust issues, hatred and many other things that make us vulnerable to another human being.. so just let things happened and you go with the flow.. you never know you can end up the happiest man in the world...

Jason: so you're saying that I should give myself a chance to love again??

Nanny: to love again and to receive love again... Listen I'm going to leave this with you.. love your best, love your hardest and Love without limits..

Jason: Love without limits huh??

Nanny: I had my share of heartbreaks and I'm still standing... So let things happen.. on what I can see is going in a good pace.. Because if I remember correctly the two of you slept in the same room... Under the same covers and what I saw this morning kyro was shirtless...

Jason: Nanny!! Ahhh!

Nanny: relax! Haha I'm just pulling your leg.. but what I do want to say is take it easy with kyro you are the first man he has ever had feelings for and he's just figuring them out... So let him figure them out first and see if you will feel the same way later... Love is like a flower it takes time to bloom.. so in the meantime take care of that flower until it blooms.

Jason: until our love blooms....