Bringin' on the Heartbreak

14

It's therapy appointment day.

I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest as I enter the waiting room and begin filling out the papers that were handed to me.

Being in a counselor's office for the first time since I was a teenager is very nerve-wracking. I feel like I don't belong here, but I know I do.

Handing the papers back to the receptionist, I return to my seat. Glancing over to the magazines next to me, I recognize a familiar pack of men with teased hair.

Def Leppard's Pyromania Soars to the Top of Charts! Will Their Next Album Live Up to Expectations?

I roll my eyes as I read the title of the article and pick up the magazine. I smile however, at the promo pictures inside.

The guys hate doing photo shoots. They put them in the most ridiculous outfits, doing the most ridiculous poses. I remember clearly the day these photos were taken.

"I feel like a clown." Sav says to me, looking at himself in the full length mirror. I help him pull on his leather jacket while he's attempting to button up his jeans.

"You look fine, baby. The attention will be on all of you." I try to comfort. Eventually he gives up on the button and just decides to leave it undone. He did this frequently because his calloused hands don't work well with the metal buttons.

"Emma?" A woman's voice calls from the hall, breaking me out of the thoughts recalling my memories with Sav.

I sit the magazine down and walk to where she was. She's about my height, brown hair and green eyes. She smiles at me sweetly before she leads me to a room down the hall.

"Hello, Emma. I'm Dr. Veal." She shakes my hand. "Tell me what's going on today."

"Well, honestly, I'm here at the suggestion of a friend." I start, glancing at the floor and twiddling my thumbs nervously. "I just had my son about a month ago and it's completely flipped a switch in me. In both good and bad ways."

"Mhm. So is it stress? Or do you feel that you have depression?"

"It's stress, definitely. My fiancé and I were barely engaged before we found out we were pregnant with Declan. We didn't really get to enjoy that because he's in a rock band and they were on tour at the time of everything."

"A rock band, you say?"

"Yes, he's Rick Savage, bassist of Def Leppard."

"Oh yes, my son is a big fan of them. But that's not important right now. Explain more of how you've been feeling."

"I've been extremely irritable, I snap at the smallest things. I'm barely sleeping at night. I want to be intimate with Sav, but Declan always seems to call us right when we're about to make some progress."

"I see. Has your fiancé been active in helping with Declan?"

"Oh, yes. He's been extremely supportive when he's not working with the band. Just last week he took over as soon as he got home and sent me to bed."

"That's good."

"We've also been planning a little vacation for just the two of us."

"Excellent. That's all very good." She starts. "Being a bit irritable after giving birth is completely normal, don't worry. What I want you to do is keep a journal of your feelings until you come back next time. Okay? Take note of your triggers and write down every detail."

-

After scheduling my next appointment, I come home to find Georgia and Declan asleep on the couch. Georgia shifts a bit once she heard me come through the door.

"Sleeping on the job?" I joke as I take off my coat and sit down my keys.

"Watching him sleep made me tired too." She says with rosy cheeks from leaning against the arm rest.

"It's all good. I understand."

"How did the appointment go?" She asks.

"Really good. It felt good to talk to someone who isn't in our circle."

"Yeah, getting an outsider's opinion is always good."

"It felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, for sure. Thank you for watching him, I really appreciate it."

"Of course. Sav said you mentioned wanting to go on a little vacation?"

"Yeah, I think we need the time for just the two of us. We went from being on tour to being parents immediately."

"I get that. Steve and I can totally take him for the weekend." She says quietly as to not disturb the sleeping infant next to her.

"You're amazing. Seriously, thank you."

—

"She's having you journal your feelings?" Sav's muffled voice rang from the bathroom. He poked his head out to look at me with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth before going back to brushing his teeth at the sink.

"Yeah, she said it will help me figure out my triggers."

"That's... an interesting approach but alright. She's the professional." He came back into view, only wearing his grey sleep shorts.

The yellow reflection from the bathroom light turned off and soon it was just the glow from the tv illuminating the room.

"So, about that vacation... Georgia said she'd take Declan for the weekend." I said as he slid in to bed.

"That's perfect. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, really."

"What about a drive to London? That way we can still be a bit close by in case of an emergency." He suggested. We only live about an hour from London, so that's fine.

"That's perfect." I smile up at him and he wraps his arm around me.