Cardinal Sin (1) : Rebirth of the Fullmetal Alchemist

25 - Wishes, costs and results

When Ed did not receive an answer, he grunted and lost interest in his brother. He slid off the operation table, coming to a stand on one wobbly foot, half his body leaning one way to compensate for the missing weight of his left leg. Gripping the table to balance himself, the living corpse frowned.

But could he really be called a living corpse? No, of course not. Evidently, he had been brought back to life. The term of 'corpse' or 'dead body' would need to be discarded.

"This isn't going to work," Ed said. "I'm going to need a new leg. Why am I so stiff? Guess my muscles are still asleep from being dead for a while..."

Bending down, he took the white sheet that had been covering him in death from the floor and tore a decent-sized strip from it that he let fall onto the table. Carefully, he found his balance on one foot so that, steadily, he could clap together his hands and slam onto the metallic table. The room was illuminated by a blue glow for a time inferior to a second. When the light went away, the table had been transmuted into a feeble metal prosthetic that was utterly shamed by Winry's designs of automail limbs.

"So... that bastard wasn't messing with me, huh? Well, whatever. It's good to have my alchemy back." At this, he managed to crack a small smile.

Fullmetal plopped down onto the floor and secured the metal prosthetic to the stump of his left leg with the straps made of the white sheet that came to tie around his waist. Afterwards, he got up, testing the artificial limb.

"This'll have to do until Winry makes me a new one," Ed said to himself. He gave a start. "Oh! I'm going to need some pants." Almost as though it had only now sunken in that he was buck naked.

It was no problem at all, however. Ed took the remaining material of the white sheet and, with a quick clap of his hands, transmuted it into a pair of white, loose pants that he put on at once.

Next, he went to a small table on which the panthologist Imogen had piled his clothes. From the nearly destroyed material of his pants, he retrieved a piece of paper that was all crumpled up from the fall. Ed buried it in the palm of his hand.

At last ready, he turned tail and began to walk, striding to the door of the autopsy room.

"Brother!" Al had finally snapped out of his shocked state of mind. He dropped to his knees. Reaching out, he caught ahold of Ed's real leg.

Dropping into a crouch in front of his distraught sibling, Ed grinned. "Hey, Al. So? How's Xing? You having a good time?"

"Brother! Oh, brother, it can't be you! You—you died!"

"And so I did. But don't worry about it Al, I'm back now!"

"How?" Al screamed. "How can you be back?! We tried to bring Mother back and it didn't work, so why is it that you're here even after you died?! Who brought you back? Who gave your back your alchemy, your body, your soul—your life?! What did they sacrifice for you?! If you're alive, then why couldn't we do the same with Mother?!"

There was a pause. The younger Elric brother's body slumped as he looked up with wide eyes. Ed took a long while to answer, carefully considering just how much he was willing to tell his sibling.

After all, for his safety, it was best that Al stayed oblivious to all these new occurrences. Lies would, unfortunately, have to be brought in to explain everything that had happened to him. It would be difficult doing such a thing when he had such a close bond with his brother.

Finally, but quite slowly, Ed said, "Alphonse. Dying and coming back to life... is a true curse. My dearest wish right now—is that I were dead again."

One might not think that a single look could show all the emotions that a person was experiencing would be possible. Nonetheless, Ed swore that he could see it all in his brother's eyes; a deep, predominant horror, great sadness, complete bewilderment, and, lurking somewhere behind all of these, was a little dot of happiness and relief, but these were not associated in the least with Fullmetal's last statement—rather just for the latter's coming back to life.

"You want... to die again?" Al whispered. "When you've just come back to me?"

The smile Ed wore faltered for a moment, but he quickly put it back on. He wanted to end his brother's suffering completly. After all, had he not pushed Al to bring back their mother, then he would never have his body replace by a suit of armour, unable to feel all the sensations a living, breathing person does—privileges one does not truly comprehend until they are lost. Still, after all this time, even after he had been assured that there were no ill feelings between them, Ed had lingering regrets...

Ed sighed. He rocked back in forth from his heels to his toes (mostly with the use of his real leg while the prosthetic stayed flat on the ground), looking thoughtfully towards the ceiling.

"You don't know much about my philosopher's stone or what I did with it," he said. "To be honest, neither did I. In throwing myself blindly into things without knowing the risks—or the costs—I got a mouthful of reality and now I'm back here bearing a burden that already feels like it's going to crush me."

"A burden? What's your burden, brother?"

"Ah, don't worry about it. It's nothing important."

"But—"

"Look. We wanted desperately to bring Mom back. We studied. We did all the research we could on human transmutation so we could have our Mother back. In the end, it cost us and we never got the results we wanted. Me, I didn't want to die, but I had to do it and I came back. It's awful, but it looks like when you want something really badly, you just don't get it however hard you try while others receive it without even having to lift a finger."

"Brother... What are you saying?"

"I... Just forget it."

Fullmetal rolled onto his heels and jerked himself up in one swift movement.

"Where are you going?" Al demanded.

Ed gave a thumbs-up. "Just some business I have to clear up. Don't worry, I'll be back before midnight tomorrow. You can wait for me. Say in Mustang's office? Well, see you later."

"Wait! Brother, please just talk to me! Tell me what's been going on. I can help you. I'm family!"

"I said not to worry about it, didn't I? As soon as I get back, I'll tell you everything. Promise."

"Take me with you!" Al begged. "Please. I need to know..."

"You're not looking too good, Al," his brother replied evasively. "Just stay here and take it easy for me, ok? Do me a favour and ask Winry to bake an apple pie tonight for dinner—I've been dead for way too long already."

____________

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I killed him, but now he's back!

I'd also like to give my sincerest apologies for murdering him. That was a terrible chapter. We shall not speak of it.

—Annalise