SCP-682: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?
SCP-096: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, SCP-049?
SCP-079: Probably "road work ahead".
SCP-049: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
SCP-035: I'm an idiot.
SCP-682:
SCP-096:
SCP-173:
SCP-106:
SCP-049:
SCP-682: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* SCP-049: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: SCP-096: ...I did. I broke it. SCP-049: No. No you didn't. SCP-173? SCP-173: Don't look at me. Look at SCP-106. SCP-106: What?! I didn't break it. SCP-173: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? SCP-106: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. SCP-173: Suspicious. SCP-106: No, it's not! SCP-079: If it matters, probably not, but SCP-035 was the last one to use it. SCP-035: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! SCP-079: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? SCP-035: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, SCP-079! SCP-096: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, SCP-049. SCP-049: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: SCP-079: SCP-049... SCP-173's been awfully quiet. SCP-173: REALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* SCP-049, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. SCP-049: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. SCP-049: SCP-049: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
SCP-096: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
SCP-035: I've already sent good vibes your way... they're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them. SCP-096: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.
SCP-173: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, SCP-049?
SCP-049: ... No.
SCP-079: I do!
SCP-173: I know, SCP-079.
SCP-079: I'm sad!
SCP-173: I know, SCP-079.
SCP-079: Why are your tongues purple? SCP-999: We had slushies. I had a blue one. SCP-173: I had a red one. SCP-079: oh SCP-079: SCP-079: OH SCP-049: SCP-049: You drank each other's slushies?
SCP-173: What did you guys get in your yearbook? SCP-035: 'Prettiest Smile' SCP-999: 'Nicest Personality' SCP-682: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' SCP-096: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
SCP-096: Thanks fam!
SCP-079: oh no
SCP-173: *cries* I love you too
SCP-999: Sounds fake but okay
SCP-049: *A flustered mess*
SCP-106: can I get a refund
SCP-999: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
SCP-999: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
