Love Fades, But Mine Never Will

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding

•Rosemarie Hathaway•

You know life is really funny at times. Today was one of those days. I went to hell and back to help save the love of my life based on a fairytale. And yet it's like it's not enough. And in the process I've ruined my career and friendships because of the lengths I went to. And yet if I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heartbeat. "I've given up on you," Dimitri softly says "Love fades. Mine has." I feel my heart begin to ache at those words. No, how could he say that after all we've been through?

"No, not mine." I breathe my voice shaking with the effort it takes not to start crying in the church. He flinches at the look on my face and turn and run out of the church. Before I start crying in front of everyone. I keep running and running until I reach an abandoned hallway. I crumble against the wall and let the tears loose. "Was everything he ever told me a lie? Was his so called love a lie?" I murmur choking on my tears.

"Rose? What happened?" Lissa asks stumbling upon me and crouching down next to me. I hug her and cry into her shoulder.

"Dimitri, he told me-" I start to say before Lissa cuts me off angrily.

"Rose! I told you to stay away! He wants his space. Are you trying to set him back? If you don't stay away I'll have to send you away so he can recover without you hounding him." Lissa yells angrily.

I stare at her in shock. Really? She's taking his side? He keeps pushing me away when I'm trying to be there for him and I'm the bad person? "Really Liss? You're sticking up for him still? You know what? I can't take this, you can keep him. I'm done. Some friend you are, you can't see how this is hurting me can you? You're can't see what's right in front of your face." I laugh bitterly. I walk away and run to my room. I can't take this, being around them is killing me. I'm gonna ask Hans to reassign me somewhere far away. Anywhere but here is better. And I'm gonna put Adrian out of his misery. I can't keep dating him when I'm not in love with him. I should have never promised to give him a chance, it wasn't fair to him. Or me.

I wash my face and erase any sign of me crying before heading down to Hans' office. I knock and wait till he lets me in. "Hathaway, what can I do for you?" Hans sighs tiredly.

"Can I be honest with you Hans? Like really honest?" I ask seriously. He timidly nods his head yes. "I'd like to be reassigned somewhere else. I can't be here anymore, it's too painful. Between Dimitri constantly pushing me away, after everything I did to restore him, and Lissa taking his side and treating me like crap. I can't take it a day longer, so anywhere but here is better at this point." I explain taking deep stuttering breaths.

"Let me make some calls Hathaway and I'll see what I can do. Stay here." Hans instructs before leaving to go make some calls. I grab some paper and a pen before writing letters to Lissa, Dimitri, Eddie and Christian. I decide not to write one for Adrian since I'm going to tell him in person. By the time I'm done with them all Hans returns. "Alright Hathaway St. Basil's needs Guardian's as soon as possible. That alright with you?" Hans asks.

I take the time to really think this through before making a decision. Do I want to leave? No not really but like I told Hans anywhere far from her is better than staying here and being in misery every day. "When's the soonest I can leave?" I ask.

"Be ready tomorrow morning. Your father's plane will be dropping you off." Hans instructs.

"Okay I can do that. Hans can you at least consider something for me? Please don't continue to punish Guardian Castile for following along with my plan. He didn't know what I was planning. I told him as things were happening so he didn't know what was really going on." I plead.

He looks me in the eye before nodding. "I'll consider it Hathaway. Now get going so you can pack. I'll drop those off later for you. After you've already left that is." Hans says before grabbing the letters and escorting me out his office. I head back to my room and grab all my luggage. I pack all my clothes and sentimental items. I look at my weapons and decide to leave the stake I bought it Russia here. It's going to bring up too many memories if I take it.

I look at the time and yell. "Fuck! I still need to talk to Adrian too." I sigh. And as if I summoned him by mentioning him Adrian walks through the door.

"Hey Little Dhampir, I had a feeling you needed me." Adrian grins. I smile sadly and pat the bed and sit down while Adrian sits next to me.

"We need to talk Adrian. I'm being reassigned to St. Basil's and I'm leaving tomorrow." I say looking him in the eye. He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "Wait let me explain more. I asked to be reassigned because I realized I can't be around Dimitri and Lissa anymore. They way they're treating me is killing me. And I've realized that I can't be with you anymore. It's not fair to you or me. I will always be in love with Dimitri, it's not fair to you to keep waiting for me to fall in love with you when I can't. I'm sorry Adrian, I should have never told you I would give you a chance. I hope we can be close friends again someday. You deserve someone who will be in love with you. I love you but not the way I should." I sigh before kissing his cheek softly.

"Little Dhampir just like you will always love him I will always love you. But I respect you so I will let you go. Thank you for being honest with me. Even though it hurts like hell. I'm not sure I will be able to be around you as a friend anytime soon but I'm sure with time it will hurt less. I love you Rose. Maybe I'll visit you once it stops hurting as much." Adrian breathes before kissing my forehead softly.

"Thank you Adrian. And I would love that. I leave in the morning so I'm going to get some sleep now, okay? If you wanna stay till I fall asleep you can." I sadly smile. He smiles and sits in the chair next to my bed. I climb into bed and close my eyes. Before long I'm sleep.

With what feels like minutes later my alarm goes off and I throw it against the wall. I groan and sit up. I walk into the bathroom and use the bathroom and brush my teeth before taking a quick shower. I throw my hair up into a high ponytail with my blue scrunches and pull on a black lace bra and panty set. I then throw on some deodorant and perfume. I then slip on my jeans, shoes and my light blue crop top. I pit in some blue flower earrings and a watch on my wrist. I throw on my black leather jacket before applying a little eyeliner and walking back in the room and grabbing my bags.

I then walk down to the airstrip and see Abe waiting with Pavel. "Hmm morning I guess Old Man. You going with me?" I yawn.

"Of course I am sevgili kızım." Abe grins at me and opens his arms up. I roll my eyes and hug him with a small smile. It's weird since Baia he and I have gotten closer. It's actually really nice though, don't let anyone know that though.

"Alright let's get going Old Man." I sigh looking around one last time before he leads me on the plane and I grab most of my bags. Pavel grabs what I can't grab. And they lead me to the back of the plane. "I'm going to sleep so the wards don't trigger my ghost sight, Old Man. You can wake me up after an hour or two okay?" I say reclining in my seat. He offers me a smile before grabbing what looks like work. I close my eyes and within what feels like minutes I fall asleep as I leave Court. For the very last time.

Turkish Translations:
sevgili kızım = my darling daughter