Hero [gxg]

Won't you take me away and make my dreams come true

{s} I woke up from another dream I couldn't quite remember. It was a nightmare. I knew that much but I didn't know what had happened in it. Maybe that was for the best.

The birds were chirping outside as sunlight seemed to go straight through my blinds.

I fucking hate mornings.

I looked up at the ceiling of the living room. It was a different ceiling from a month ago as we moved again. The reason behind the move was my dad's new job since his old one closed recently because of Covid. I didn't know what he did but I at least knew it didn't pay as well as his last as I had to sell a lot of my Sanrio memorabilia and my WiiU just to pay for food at one point. The pastel pink dress from elementary school that I got kind of attached to was sold too.

I justified it to myself under the pretense that I was 19 now and still living with my dad. It made me indifferent towards it. I was indifferent towards a lot of things now.

When someone in my in-person biology class stole my wallet. Indifferent. When I got hit with a soccer ball while walking to my English class. Indifferent. When I saw two of my girl classmates hold hands as they walked past my bus stop. Jealous but besides that indifferent.

I didn't care about anything.

"So, why was I going to college?" Someone might ask.

The answer to that was simple. I needed money to move out. I could get a part time job but I already know from my...mom's experience that I wouldn't be able to sustain myself off a job at Mcdonald's. The only way to get a decent paying job is with a degree.

I definitely didn't want to live with my dad forever. He never speaks to me. We didn't talk a lot before but now it's even worse. I can't even remember the last time we talked it was so menial. It's not like we don't see each other though as I often got home when he would grab food. His schedule consisted of going to work wherever in the morning, coming home in the evening, eating in the bedroom, and then watching stuff on his old Android until he falls asleep.

Our schedules were honestly quite similar now that I think about it.

In the morning, I take the bus to the next town over to go to school. I get back home in the evening, eat in the living room (living room is basically my bedroom now since we only have one), do homework if I felt like it (which was kind of rare) and then sleep.

That's depressing to think about.

I turned my body to face the front door and stared at it contemplating if I should just disappear in a nearby forest. No one would come for me. I wouldn't come for me either. I was nobody.

I thought about this for about an hour as I checked my phone and realized it was 11 AM. I already missed English but maybe I could make it to math and communications. With that fragile piece of motivation I got off the couch.

I put on a gray hoodie, some grey joggers, a black mask, and some sneakers that were a size too small and stared at the fridge for a couple of seconds before deciding to just leave for the bus stop. I didn't feel like eating. {s}

I fell asleep on the bus and ended up missing my stop. Luckily, I found a bus going in the opposite direction which took me to the university. I was five hours late though which meant I'd only be able to make it to 1 out of 4 of my classes. I groaned internally and decided to just spend my time in the library so I didn't waste my time coming out here. I often went there when I didn't feel like going to classes. You could call me a regular.

This was apparent when the librarian waved at me as I entered. I didn't wave back.

"So what does a student with D's and F's do at the library?" Someone might ask.