Baby, You're All That I Want

Six

Robin looked at me pleadingly, "He's really torn up Sade, seriously."

I shook my head, and grabbed the notebook from my locker more forcefully than necessary. It was Friday, and I had done everything in my power to avoid even looking at Steve throughout the week. He should have learned from his experience with Nancy that jumping to conclusions was a bad idea. Granted he wasn't far off on his guess with me and Billy, but that didn't mean he had to react the way he did.

"He is sorry, deep down." she tried again. "Give him the benefit of the doubt."

I grimaced at her, slamming the locker door closed. "Oh you mean like the benefit of the doubt he offered me when he yelled to the whole school that I'm a whore? Or maybe the benefit of the doubt he offered while screaming he doesn't associate with sluts?  Please Robin, I don't want to be angry with you too. Just leave it alone. Steve dug his grave, now he has to lie in it. If he wants to suck up his ego and apologize, I'm all ears, but I will not make the first move. He is in the wrong here, not me."

Her heart broke then, I could see it in her eyes. "Don't force me to take sides." she begged. The crease of her brow furrowed in agitation.

I patted her shoulder, "I'm not asking you to buddy. I will not be upset with you for hanging out with him. He's your friend and he did nothing wrong to you. You and I are perfectly fine, so long as you don't try and force the issue of me speaking to him first."

She nodded reluctantly. "I don't have many girl friends..." she started, but I hugged her tightly. "You're not losing me, ok?"

Again she nodded reluctantly, but to my great relief she dropped the subject and hugged me back.

The day had gone quite slowly and quietly. Nothing had been amiss. Robin sat dutifully with Steve in the far corner of the lunch room like she had the rest of the week, while Nancy Jonathan and I sat perched at our normal table.

To Nancy's chagrin, the obnoxious group led by Tommy and Billy had chosen the far end of our table to occupy themselves. Nancy blamed me, but didn't hold a grudge. Instead, she chose to throw glares down the table at Carol every chance she got.

I swirled my fork through the large lumpy sludge on the tray, absently thinking about the fight on Monday. It had taken up a lot of room in my head lately, and my conflict with its events were not getting any closer to resolution.

"You know, I hear there's a party at the lake this weekend." Jonathan said, breaking the thick silence. "Did you two maybe think about going?"
"I hadn't really." I answered honestly, "I was planning on lying low."

"You have to stop doing that. You did nothing wrong. Steve's reactions come from a totally ill informed, and jealous state." Nancy snapped, her bias clearly evident.

"He wasn't completely wrong though, about me and Billy." I said low, leaning forward so she could hear me.

To my absolute surprise, the conclusion of the fight and the gossip that had spread around school had nothing to do with me, and all to do with the tension between Billy and Steve. They were fighting for the crown of Hawkins' High, and I had just been a necessary catalyst to getting them there. People were more interested in the outcome, rather than the cause.

I was very much aware that it mostly had to do with Billy, and I was very thankful. I was also thankful that he had mostly left me alone this week. To let the dust settle and lick my wounds. He hadn't been lying when he said he wanted to work hard at treating me differently than everyone else, another reason that I didn't feel guilty about fooling around with him.

"I just don't understand why his reaction was so intense. We are friends, buddies, pals not together. Like when he thought you two were doing it, at least you were dating each him." I said running a hand through my long waves.