Baby, You're All That I Want

Nine

Christmas break was upon us. 2 whole weeks without school, and I honestly was ready for the rest. Fox had begun to join us at lunch, and we had gone on a few more dates over the last several weeks. All ending with chaste kisses and smiles.

Billy and Tammy were apparently now an item, seeming to constantly be sucking faces throughout the school. I did my best to ignore the panging jealousy and sorrow that filled me when I saw them.

Nancy could see I was trying my hardest to move forward, and on the outside I'm sure it looked like I had. Fox trailed me everywhere, escorting me to all of my classes carrying my books. Not to mention, he carried my tray at lunch as well. However, some small part of me, a part that I buried so deep the voice sounded like a far off echo; the voice that told me I wasn't as happy as I should be, because the person I was spending all this time with was not the one I truly wanted.

And that frustrated me. Fox was amazing, he was textbook dream guy material. He was handsome, sweet, charming, and a pure gentleman. He wanted to go to school, marry a good woman, and have plenty of kids to support.

There was nothing wrong with that dream. That's what I had told myself would be a great life in Hawkins. Mrs. Wheeler kept sneaking back into my mind every time I thought about a future with Fox, and it ripped my insides in half. Mrs. Wheeler is happy, albeit sometimes bored, but overall she was happy with her chosen life.

I felt the tick of a headache in the depths of my brain, Fox noticed the change, and asked if I was alright. I nodded, a half smile of reassurance. "I'm fine." I patted his hand.

"Hey, Tina and Tasha Simmons are throwing a party tonight. We going?" Steve asked, plopping down across from Fox. They bumped fists as he did so.

I shrugged, "Sure."

"Wow, way to sound thrilled Debbie Downer." he said, rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. I laughed, "I've got a headache coming on, I'll be fine by tonight though."

"Want me to pick you up?" Fox asked dutifully. I smiled, but Steve responded. "It's an overnighter. Their parents are out of town until Monday, so there's no time crunch to be gone in the morning."

"I don't think I'll party that long, but if you want to, go right ahead."

"This is the last Christmas break we will ever have in High School. Let's just have fun and not care when we come home." he said, a serious mood casting over us. The clock was ticking on our time, a fact that made my blood cool and my heart thrum too quickly.
I wasn't ready to be done, I wasn't ready for it to be over, yet somehow it was approaching much faster than I would have liked.

"You know I'm not staying all weekend, so you two can ride with us." Nancy said in a matter of fact tone. Jonathan nodded, but remained quiet.

"I like where your head is at though." Nancy laughed, patting Steve's hand. "I think we should do something over break. Like we did before school started. We should go to another concert or something."

"Def Leppard is playing in Indi." I offered. So far nobody but me liked them, so I received a grimace. "We'll figure it out later, but be thinking of ideas." she said pointing at us.

The bell rang, and it was time to go home. Luckily breaks meant half days, and dismissals after lunch. Elle was riding home with Jonathan and their gang to hang out at the Byers'. I would pick her up later. Nancy had plans for the school paper, and Fox was due to help his dad with their cattle.

Realizing I would be completely alone until the party tonight, gave me a little alarm. I hadn't been alone in so long, I didn't know what to do with myself.