Rakim took custody of Damaia since she was his. He got the DNA test back and he was the father.
That shit killed me but I knew.
I chopped it up with him bout trading off so she could grow up with her brothers but he been acting like a bitch.
The news was out that Raquel was dead.
I was numb.
I couldn't cry..I couldn't sleep.... I can't eat. I just stare at my sons feeling as if I failed them.
I let them take Raquel from us.
Her funeral tomorrow. Our folks handled it. I dream about her every night memories of us. I just wish she come to me one last time. Tell me she made it to heaven man.
I stared at the wall lost in my thoughts some I have been catching myself doing a lot.
I just think about everything I put her through.
Missed opportunities man.
The Rakim shit didn't even piss me off and that's when I knew it was my fault. I'm the reason Raquel went to find comfort in another man.
"Mario." Robyn walked in. I looked at her.
"My grandma wants you." I looked at the boys. "Watch your brothers for me?" She nodded and sat down. I walked downstairs.
"Good to see you out that bed." She said.
"Ain't no point."
"You know she wouldn't want you sad and down like this." "Yeah but she ain't here to tell me get up so."
She sighed.
"Mario can I talk to you?"
"Yeah." She patted the seat next to her on the couch. I sat down.
"Do you know Rocky's one wish she's had since a kid?" "The circus." I said making her laugh. "That and to be at peace."
"What you mean?"
"You know she's been through a lot as a kid. Watching her mom be abused, her mom abusing her, raising Robyn, homelessness, and more she always craved the end. When she finally was able to rest mentally not just physically."
"What you tryna say?"
"I know you don't believe it but I know Raquel could've fought if she wanted to but she didn't. She knew this was her way out."
"She wouldn't die on me or our boys like that she told me herself she didn't want us to let her die."
"Raquel was unhappy Mario.
She loved you and those boys. That's it. You know how many nights she felt like she was a bad mother? A failed daughter?
She risked her life and her career so you can chase your dreams.
She ruined her life just to lay in your arms at the end of the night. You have to grieve her so she can rest. You holding my baby on this earth.
She took care of you long enough.
You gotta let her know you are okay.
You have to let her complete her final transition so she can pass on peacefully Mario."
I shook my head.
"I love her I can't." "Make me a promise." I looked at her. "Tomorrow we lay her to rest. You grieve. You cry. You scream. Do whatever but the day after I need you to get up.
Them boys need to see you get up.
They babies. They ain't even grasped the concept that she gone.
Those shoes she wore are now yours.
