TALES OF TERROR

The Cameras Could Take You Home

Okay, let me make this easy by explaining how I did what I did. In Layman's terms, of course. I like to experiment. Metals, wires, chemicals, those kind of things. I'm not super, super serious about it. I go to college for linguistics, I'm pretty normal.

My favorite things to work with are things that the public aren't really supposed to get ahold of. I did a comparison via microscope of a Cuban cigar to one from Nicaragua, and was actually able to spot some key differences.

What I'm about to explain started with doing a search on Google Shopping. You search for something, it brings up all of the online locations where you can buy whatever it is, do price comparisons, etc. Me and my friend Dave were having fun looking up crazy things one night, like fighter jets and private islands. Things actually do come up, the prices are laughable. Anyway, I searched for "uranium." To our surprise, a few sites popped up selling straight up fucking uranium. We laughed it off, but it made me think. I've heard that some of the more off-the-wall elements on the periodic table can do strange things. A few days later, I got paid for my silly phone-bitch job, and went and did the uranium search again. I chose a random vendor and started looking around their site. The only other wild one I found was Ununpentium, element 114, if I remember right. I bought them both. Don't ask where the site is, and don't ask how much it cost. I'll explain everything, but to tell you the truth, no matter how much you probably think you want to see what I saw, it's an extremely hard reality to live with.

I got these elements in vials. Working with them is not safe, I'm not going to tell you how I did it, but I found it on the internet, so you can, too. I tried a few different things with small amounts of each. Combining them in water, etc. There isn't a lot of information on ununpentium, as it's a manmade element and nobody is supposed to have access to it outside of really extravagant laboratory settings. Anyway, surprisingly, nothing interesting happened. I had one more interesting idea. I put both in a food dehydrator. This sounds retarded, I know, believe me, the thought was hilarious to me, too, since I bought the food dehydrator to extract mescaline from cactus I found at a Mexican grocery store. You wouldn't believe what college kids will pay...never mind.

Anyway, I put these two in the dehydrator and turned it on. This is when things got a little strange. I ran it for around ten seconds, and the two elements drew closer together, similar to how a magnet attracts metal. I ran it a little longer, and they moved yet closer. Hmm...what happens when they touch in here? I ran it and watched. The two little stones I used drew closer, and they touched, the spot that each of them touched the other with began to shimmer a little bit. I kept going. They drew...well, into each other, until they became one black, shimmering mass. As I continued, the mass took on a perfect spherical shape. It grew from the size of a marble to about that of a baseball before I stopped. I took the thing out with a thick, gloved hand, and held it. It didn't seem to have any mass whatsoever. I decided to take a big risk. I set this thing down, and it literally hovered about two inches over my kitchen counter. Wow! I took off my right glove, and touched the thing. It felt like sticking my fingers into jello, yet it was extremely warm, um, inside? It was just a black ball of...I don't know what. Once I stuck my right pointer finger in, I couldn't see it inside the thing. You can hold this with a hand, yet fingers go through it. I picked it up, no glove this time, and held it up to my eye. This is when everything happened.

This is basically a recap. I can't tell you what happened during...whatever happened. I can, however, tell you what I learned. Essentially, this thing took me to the future. I understood it to be the year 2060. Not all too crazy, but it was different. I had some time to look around. I'm going to number my experiences for you.

1. I saw how technology had advanced since 2013. I was "placed" into a public park. I'm not sure where, but everyone spoke English, so it was somewhere in the USA. I saw people taking pictures. Everyone still acts like they do today. There are some new slang terms, like what I guess was "pash," which is some form of agreeing. The cameras that people had were amazing. They essentially take pictures that you can move all around. Essentially, they capture the entire world in each moment in time. You take a picture of something, bring the image up on the camera's touch screen display, and you can start moving the picture around. People took pictures in the park, sat around the camera and one person made motions on the screen with their fingers. The image began moving forward. They moved to an adjacent street. One of them moved the image to their house, where they saw their parents sitting in the living room. Every single thing happening in the moment that the picture is taken is captured in each picture. Also, as a side note, I didn't recognize any of the logos on these things, so I'd say a big competitor is coming in the tech market.