Is it too much to ask

It all started with One Direction

"Hi, my name is Niall Horan. You may know me as the blond boy from One Direction. I love these boys, they are my brothers. But that was years ago and now? Now I'm here on my own.
Why? you ask. Let me tell you a little bit about my time in One Direction."

July 23 2010

"The year is 2010. Date: July 23. The date when our band, One Direction, was formed. We were five boys. We didn't know each other. Already that day I became a kind of fifth wheel. It turns out that Louis and Harry know each other from their past. And Liam met Zayn and they fell in love at first sight. And me? I remained the blond boy who was always there. When we were told that we were becoming a band, the boys immediately jumped on each other and hugged each other, but I stayed aside until they came to hug me too. It was literally "Niall and the Lovebirds". I'm not saying they didn't treat me at all. They did, But when they were together? I always watched from the side, I was always in the background. So that's how it started."

2010-2014

"As the years went by I started to feel more left out. On stage we were best friends We had the time of our lives. But then, they were mostly in pairs. Liam with Zayn and Louis with Harry.
It didn't really bother me at first. I would go and crawl between Liam and Zayn or Louis and Harry. It was nice. But then the years started to pass. We've grown up, it's not 2010 anymore. I started to feel left out again. Especially when Louis and Liam started dating girls to stop the rumors about them. I never understood it, I probably never will either. But Louis started spending more time with his girlfriend and Liam was with Zayn most of the time and the rest with his girlfriend So I started spending more time with Harry. Harry and Louis were and still are my best friends from the band. But when Louis was with Eleanor me and Harry would hang out together. But time passed and Zayn and Harry also started dating girls.
I was left alone again. And I started to think a little. Why I don't have someone to be with all the time?
I started to blame myself. I didn't like myself. The boys told me it's okay, they love me the way I am. But it doesn't help when at the end of the day I'm left alone.  I started to dislike myself. I was ashamed of myself. And the rumors that spread about me didn't help it at all.
But I always left a smile on my face in front of the cameras. Everything for the fans right?"

2015

"Zayn left. He and Liam broke up a few months ago and he was suffering.
I began to think that maybe everything would be different now. And it was, but not in the way I thought. We have grown up, we look different. But we also behave differently. The boys no longer like to do the same nonsense as before.
I started to love myself more. Maybe liking is more correct.
Things were different without Zayn. Liam was more harsh and distant. And Louis and Harry weren't always there . We started to distance ourselves from each other and fight all the time. Neither of us liked it. We couldn't be free, we couldn't be ourselves. All I wanted was someone to be with me, to hug, to laugh with me, to cry with me, to cheer me up. Someone to be there for me. Someone, someone who will love me the way I am."

2016

"That's it, that's the end. It doesn't work anymore. We all already know we can't go on like this. We want to remain good friends. Maybe it's our time... to say goodbye?
This is going to be our last album. Our last tour. Each of us will go on a new path soon.  Maybe a solo career? None of us want to say goodbye but we all know we have to. It's the best for all of us right?
It's time. Our last tour together. It's over.  we hugged we kissed we cried We didn't want it to end. And if I'm being honest I want to relive this moment again and again and again.
that's it. One Direction is officially over.
I felt lost, but also in a certain place maybe also a little relieved. I always knew we would stay friends. But maybe now is my time to shine? Here it happens. There is no looking back."