Is it too much to ask

Total crash

Nn///
Hey everyone, so before our story continues I want to give a short warning. This part is unrealistic. It didn't happen in reality. He may be difficult for some of you, but he really doesn't mean to hurt you. I thought I should tell you this before the story starts so that they don't get angry that there is no TW. Enjoy the story.

So yeah, now it's only me.
Each of us took a different path.
The boys are very successful. Especially Harry. I'm proud of them.
We all have solo careers.
I'm about to release my first album soon, I'm excited. The first album without the boys.
Is everything going to be different now?
i miss them I miss laughing with them, doing silly things and even crying together...
Why can't I have someone, just someone who will be all this for me? The boys were everything to me, we were family. But it's not enough. I am starting a new life as an adult And still I'm alone.
Why is this happening to me? Why me? Don't I deserve to be loved? Don't i deserve to be... happy? It feels like my whole life I've been waiting for the right moment for her to arrive. And she never came. I sit at night at home alone, I have no one to hug on cold nights, I have no one to lean on when life is hard, I am all alone.

I don't have the strength to go out with friends but they still take me out to hang out.
I lean on the bar and order a few shots of alcohol. Maybe it will take the pain away, It's not.
I'm dizzy, drunk, sad and tired. all i want is to go home Then she approached me, The most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life,She had long brown hair that reached just past her shoulders. She had green eyes that sparkled in the lights of the club. Her smile sparkles like a star in the sky and her dimples... She sat next to me and we started talking.
She asked me where I was born, what's my age, what are my hobbies... And then  She recognized me. "Hey you're Niall from One Direction!" Is that all I am? I smiled and walked away without looking back.

As soon as I stepped outside I felt the cold night air on my face, it's refreshing. Raindrops started falling on my face. I sat down on the sidewalk and just looked up at the sky with my eyes closed letting the rain wash over my face. 
I started crying. I put my head down so no one would know I am crying. I feel like every part of my body wants to run away. No matter where. Far, as far as possible.
The rain is getting stronger, it's already hard to see. I see lights moving in my direction so I move towards them, I don't know why, it just felt right. I know it's probably not the right thing to do, but it feels so right. The lights are getting closer to me, they are getting bigger and bigger.

It was an accident. But I don't care.  lying on the road, my whole body hurts. I don't care about anything. I don't want anything, I just want to close my eyes and breathe. Everyone around me is trying to talk to me, They're trying to see if I'm okay, they're trying to figure out what happened. but everything is blurry and I can't hear them. I lost consciousness.

after a week
I open my eyes. how long has it been?
I can hear them talking. They are talking about me. I woke up in a hospital. They say my condition is not good. I hear four men. These are the boys, they are all here, Harry, Louis, Liam and even Zayn they came for me.
The door opens and they walk in, it's really them. They are here with my family. I can hear Harry yell "He woke up!" And my mother ran to me to check if I really woke up. She didn't go to sleep all night I can see it, Her eyes are red and puffy, it's as clear as the sun she cried. I want to cry, the tears are stuck in my throat, they just want to come out but I stop them. I have to be strong for her. For me.

The doctor comes in, he says I can be released in a week, but. He has bad news. I am not surprised.
"You may not be able to perform anymore" it hurts, my career, my work, my fans, my music. Everything is over?
In another week it will change. I'll be back. I will succeed. It can't end. Not now.
I started crying. The boys comforted me but after a few minutes they had to go.

I'm alone again. How did I even get to this? All this because I wanted love? Is it because I wanted to be someone? Who am I anyway? Am I anyone at all? Do I even deserve to love? Do I deserve to be loved?

Mom told me It took me a week to wake up, my whole room is full of articles from the week. "One Direction's hit singer Niall Horan hit in a car accident" "Niall Horan from One Direction" "One Direction's hit singer" Is that all I am? 
It's already night. The lights went out and I'm still in the hospital bed, alone. It's all my fault. I lie back, I close my eyes and take deep breaths. It's all a dream right? I will get up in bed tomorrow and everything will be as usual. I'm not tired at all. I open my eyes and look at the ceiling, I can't see anything. Everything is black. What do I have to do for someone to love me? A woman who will be here for me, who will always be with me. That's all that goes through my mind until I fall asleep. Everything will be better tomorrow.