When i woke up i saw a note next to me with my name on it. It's from Louis. I was so scared to read it but I had no choice.
"I'm sorry Niller I went home to be with my son, he is sick. But I called Harry and he suppose to be asleep right now because he came really late yesterday. Love Tommo".
He left? Was it because of the kiss? Why I can't stop messing things up?! I am so messed up. I went to the kitchen to make breakfast, I feel a little bit dizzy but I don't care. There's a note in the fridge too? Oh it's from Harry.
"I made breakfast yesterday I'm probably asleep right now but I hope you'll like it. Wake me up if you need anything. Love H"
I can't eat anything. I want to be alone As I should be. I took my phone from the living room. 1000 unread messages. I can't do this. I scrolled through my contacts and then I stopped when I saw Zayn's name. Maybe it's time to talk to him. He will understand? Right?.
The phone rings 3 times and I'm about to hang up and then i heard Zayn's voice.
"Niall?" He said.
" You answered the phone" that's all i said.
"What happened? Do you need anything?" He asked
"No" i lied. Why did i even called?
"Niall." He knows.
" I hate myself Z. I need to be alone. FOREVER."
"Niall. I'll be at your house in 5 minutes "
"What?! No!!. I don't wanna be with anyone!! I am not worth it!!! I just hurt everyone!?"
"5 minutes."
" I said no Zayn."
" I don't care Ni. You can't be alone right now, you need a hug."
" I have a show today "
"Great! I'm coming with you!"
"What no, Zayn stop"
"No. I'm on my way."
"Harry is here with me "
"Then let me talk to him"
"I can't "
"Then I'm coming." He hung up. Fuck! FuCK! FUCK!
I have to get ready for the show today. I don't want to but I have to. I tried to get up from the sofa and then everything started to become blurry and dark. I feel like i can't breathe and I can't feel anything.
"Niall!?!?! Niall!?!?" I can hear someone calling my name. Harry maybe?
"Ni!!! Wake up!! Please!!!" It's Zayn. I can hear him now loud and clear. I can't open my eyes so i just lay there. I can feel Zayn's hands holding my legs up and trying to wake me up. I wanted to just stay still and never wake up but then Zayn started crying.
"I'm alive z"
I can't see him but i know he's happy. Suddenly he left my legs and hugged me.
"Open your eyes Ni"
I don't want to. I can't. But I open my eyes slowly.
"Good you're not dead." I started laughing.
Yesterday i wanted to end everything and today Zayn is happy that I'm alive.
"Where's Harry?" He asked
"I don't know. Maybe he is sleeping" since when Zayn care about Harry?
"Well leave him a note you're coming with me."
"What? Where? Zayn I don't wanna go anywhere"
"Trust me. You told me you have a show today am i wrong?"
"You're right"
"Well, we need to get ready! And first thing to do..."
" I don't know z"
" FOOD!!!" Oh no i think I'm gonna throw up.
I don't wanna eat but I found myself leaving Harry a note and getting into Zayn's car.
I closed my eyes trying to sleep but Zayn tried to keep me awake cause he was afraid something will happen to me. I kept my eyes close anyway and I just answered his questions. I missed our conversations. After a while the car stopped and Zayn opened my door. I opened my eyes. We are not going to eat.
"Ta da!!! Surprise!!!" Zayn said.
How does he know where I'm supposed to preform today?!?
"I was supposed to watch you today, from the crowd. I even got tickets! And I couldn't let you miss your big comeback!! I think that is going to make you feel better Niall. The fans, The music, The excitement. I want you to feel it. All of it. Now lets go inside!!!"
I was shocked. He wanted to be there for me. He wanted to make me happy. Well at least I'm sure after the kiss with Louis, I'M NOT GAY. Maybe i just like the feeling that someone actually LOVE ME? I couldn't help myself. I ran and hugged him.
"Do you love me Zayn? I asked.
"Of course I do Ni. I love you so much "
This feels like heaven. Someone actually love ME! Someone notice ME. Well... I wish he was someone i could date but it's ok because he's my lad.
As we walked inside i was completely shocked. My family was there backstage. Louis was there in Harry's arms and Liam was there too!! I don't know how Harry got here before me but I'm just Happy that they are all here right now for me. Everyone came to hug me but Zayn said I HAVE to eat first and Harry looked a little bit sad that I didn't wanted to eat the food he made for me.
I finished my food and I hugged everyone, Everyone except Louis.
He came to me and I was so embarrassed so I looked down.
" Are you ok Niall? He said.
"You're not mad at me?"
"Of course not!!! I love you Nialler"
" As a friend of course " Louis started laughing
" As my best friend. And by the way, you are going to be absolutely amazing today."
"Thanks Tommo" we hugged. I felt so relieved.
I'm here with people who love me. I'm about to go on stage to preform in front of my amazing fans. I think... I think I start to love myself again. The one thing that's missing is that one girl to love. I want someone to love me I want to be someone's boyfriend so badly and i want this to feel loved and to feel peaceful. But right now things getting better I think, I hope. And I guess Louis was right. "Time takes time to heal it." Maybe for me it's like FOREVER but with my family and friends next to me i can do everything right?.
Let's just hope the show will go perfectly fine.
YOU ARE READING
Is it too much to ask
Fanfiction"I will do it again and again and again" The story you haven't heard yet about Niall's side in One Direction. About life in a solo career after being in a band. About love, pain, joy. about life itself.
