* 。 • 。 • ˚ ˛ Yumi POV。 • ˚ * 。 •
It was the middle of the evening when I got the news. The nurse had come to check my vitals one last time before she spilt the tea on what was going to happen.
"Yumi, we've got some good news for you!" I remember her saying. "You're going home! Now you won't need to worry about missing school anymore! You will be sent in a wheelchair, however,"
It was 8:29, only 31 more minutes until my discharge. Well, legally. I still had to wait for one of my parents to pick me up. In this case, it's my dad. I hate him. At least I'll get to see Seungmin when I go home. It's been a week since I saw him last, when Ma barged in and demanded he stop stealing my stuff. In all honesty, it wasn't a good idea for him to pick me up because I knew deep down he was really picking up the gifts rather than me. I already knew what he was going to say when he first saw me.
"Now you're even more useless,"
I already know, Appa.
I can't do anything to change him, though. That's what I hate. No matter how much I try to make him happy or proud, he never will be. Therefore, I gave up. No point in trying to impress someone who expects you do act like their little slave, straight A's, perfect at everything angel child. It's unrealistic.
I'm only human.
The day he first saw my scars, he didn't comfort me. He never told me that I could reach out to him and Ma for support. Instead, he told me how ridicous I look, and that if I was "really suicidal" then he'd be more than happy to kill me right on the spot. I chose the wrong answer to his question. When he asked me "why?"
Why are you so pathetic?
Why are you so stupid?
Why are you so useless?
Why are you so ugly?
Why do you cut yourself like this, you dumb thot!?
I answered "So I can feel something,"
"But if I slap you right now, you'll feel it, won't you?" He replied, hitting me hard against the side of my head. I didn't cry though. I've learned to hold it in.
"It's not the same,"
"What's not the same about it, dumbass!?"
It's not the same because I want to relieve the stress and burdens that you put on me. I do it because when it feels like I'm at the end of my road, and I've hit a dead end, you aren't there to play your rule to guide me back on track. All you do is curse at me for making a wrong turn rather than helping me.
I want to relieve my stress, anger, sadness, and self hatred. Now, I have scars to prove how bad of a father you were to me.
Screw you, "Appa"
For fighting with Ma
For ruining my perception of life
For telling me the real world isn't sugar coated, but then cutting my connections off from it.
Something I once loved so very dearly seemed to blow away in the wind, slipping out of my finger tips barely in time to reach out and grasp a hold of it again. That love was life. If it weren't for the fall, I wouldn't have been ready to take another chance at life again and start it back up the way I want to live it. If it weren't for Seungmin, I wouldn't have hung on and tried my best to stay alive. I could've let my soul leave my body at the feel of the impact, but deep down I knew that I couldn't leave Seungmin like that.
Where is my Seungmin when you need him?
。 • ˚ * 。 • ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 • ˚ *˚。
The time changed, eventually the clock reached 9 pm. Appa came in 30 minutes late, heading straight to my room to collect the gifts, as expected. It began to downpour outside, the sky groaning with thunder. He did all of the sign out stuff, then we left. I smiled a little when I saw him pull out an umbrella. My smile faded when I saw him put it over himself, protecting the basket of gifts from getting wet. everything else, all the letters and stuff he didn't want were placed on my lap, exposed to the cold, harsh rain that rocketed down from the sky.
"Move faster!" Appa screamed, his words lost in the storm. All this rain kept making my hands slip from the wheel, all these letters and cards on my lap weren't exactly helping either. How the hell do I get into the car?
He hopped into the driver's seat, yelling something to me before closing the umbrella and slamming it shut. I rolled over to the car as fast as I could, struggling to reach the handle on the door. By the time I could, Appa had gotten out of the car in anger. I was almost half way in when I could feel him shove my legs into the car, pushing me further onto the seat. He then grabbed my wheelchair, quite literally throwing it in the trunk. Owwww!!! God dammit!
I'm in so much pain
As soon as he was situated in the driver's seat again, he screamed at me the entire way home about how he "busts his ass for me" and had to get out of the car in the rain. Taking care of a child, yet alone an impaired teenager is difficult, but not once has he really taken care of me.
When we got home, the lightning lit the sky, thunder barking me to hurry the hell up and get inside before I was drenched head to toe. Of course, by the time I got into the building, I was soaked, sopping wet from head to wheel.
Once I got into the elevator with Appa, I was so tempted to just click the 7th floor. I just wanted to see Seungmin as soon as possible. But with Appa around, I don't think I could. When will I see my Seungmin again? How will he react when he finds out that I'm in a wheelchair now? Did he even know? It's been months.
Literally months.
Why hasn't he come to see me?
YOU ARE READING
ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ || 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧
Fanfic{YUMI'S POV} I stood up on the ledge. Careful, careful. I took a couple more steps before getting ready to step down off the ledge. Just then a strong gust of wind came again. My legs began to shake as I tried to brace myself, but it knocked me off...
