wandering ghost || k. baji

five

they started dating

takashi and y/n, it's been about a month since they started going out, good for them (im bitter), they're happy well im not jk i am. they've been together almost every time of the day. i envy him, i envy his ability to show them physical affection, to show them that they're physically there for them - i envy everything.

although the feeling of envy has swallowed me whole throughout their dating process, but i am happy for the both of them , i am happy, very very happy for y/n. im proud of her, so proud of her for finally moving on after days, months, or even years of continuously mourning over me. i am happy to see them happy eventhough they're happy with someone who is not me. lol i have to stop being bitter haha

anyways, as i said, they're dating, they're a couple, they're lovebirds, THEY'RE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH EACH OTHER. . . . . . . . they're romantically involved with each other. . . . . they're . . . roman . . . tically . . . involved . . . . with each other . . . i sound like im in denial - im not maybe no im not why would i be in denial yes i am in denial NOT in denial

all the things that have occured that felt like it all happened in the blink of an eye led me to questions :

"would they still be with me until now if i was still alive?"
"would we still be together, happy and contented?" and
"would things be different if i had remained alive?"

sigh, it can't be helped, this is what faith has brought upon the three of us, to me, to him, to them, and to everyone affected. what else could i possibly do but to watch them be happy with someone else, i am only a ghost watching over you, living life with you merely as a wandering soul - a wandering ghost.