Trust - Kit Connor

12. Pistanthrophobia

" Pistanthrophobia is the fear trusting others. Fear of abandonment is the overwhelming worry that people close to you will leave. You got dealt a shit hand, Roni. You got both. Don't let this stop you from Trusting again, I've seen you come out of your shell with these friends. I know it's hard but please don't go back in".

My therapist said this today. It keeps replaying in my head. It's been 1 week and I haven't talked to anyone but her.

Not my dad, not Yaz, not Joe, not bash, not even Max.

And definitely not Kit.

I know I should text him. I should hear him out and listen to his side but I can't. I can't bring myself to because if I do and he meant for it to happen...if he wanted it to happen. I just can't.

I haven't showered, I've hardly ate, I haven't checked my phone, I've hardly left bed, I haven't said more than 3 words to anyone but my therapist.

After seeing the picture i spiraled in a deep deep depression. I want to just get over it more than anything.

He knew I had a hard time trusting and he still did this. I mean I can't be mad, right? We weren't even together, right?

Right.

Yaz's pov

Bash, Joe, Tobie, and i have been trying to get a hold of Roni but that hasn't proved successful.

I reached out to Max but if I even mention Kits name he gets pissed and stops answering.

So that being said the four of us decided to fly to Michigan and check on Roni and hopefully explain everything.

After waiting in front of the airport for 10 minutes I see Mr.Espinoza pull up and we all put our things in the car then ourselves.

"Do they know we're here" Mr.Espinoza clears his throat and says "uhm no...no they haven't talked to anyone in days I mean I can't even get her to eat"
"I'm sorry I'm sure it's hard to see Roni like that" bash says from the back seat. "Yeah it's not easy but if you guys truly...truly think that kit is innocent then I believe you" he looks over at me while stopped at a red light. "I know you wouldn't let Roni be with someone if you thought they had hurt her" i give him a slight smile "never".

Roni's pov
I wake up to a soft hand planted on my back. I turn around seeing a sympathetic yaz. The sight of her is enough to bring me to tears.

"Hey" she smiles. I break down. I've wanted nothing more than to see her for the last week and her being here is so comforting. "I'm so sorry yaz I'm so fucking sorry i fell of the face of the earth but I couldn't I couldn't look and see the pictures and the articles I couldn't see him or his messages" i say rambling in between sobs. Yaz sighs and holds me. "I know Roni it's okay...but uhm we should talk" I look up confused. "What happened?" She takes a deep breath.

"Are you sure you're ready" i take a second to think. "If Anyones going to tell me what's going on I'd rather hear it from you" "That reminds me actually...uhm i brought a few people" almost on cue i see Joe followed by Bash, and Tobie come through my door all piling on top of me for a group hug. I laugh slightly "hi guys" they all say their hello's and i missed you's.

"Okay...tell me" i say mustering every bit of confidence i can.

"I think Joe should be the one to tell you, he was actually there" i nod and look at joe who sits at the end of my bed.

"We had gone to a Dinner slash event. Everything was really nice and we met some very influential people that could help us and our careers. Except, one of them had brought their daughter along". He pauses for a minute to take a deep breath and as I do.