𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 // 𝐝𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧

𝐨𝐧𝐞

i laid in bed and scrolled through instagram on my phone. I got a text from daij.

daij ❤️
gm

asshole. he only did that because he got into a dumbass argument last night. It was over him wanting me to stay over at his place for a bit and drinking with him. like hell no, who i look like? we act like we're in a full time ass relationship, although we haven't even kissed, had sex or anything like that.

he told me, "i just claim you, no other guy can have you," he's so clingy sometimes. I know it only sounds like i'm talking bad about him, but trust me i'm not.

I hearted his message, trying to be an asshole back. i really could've just left him on read. that would've hurt him the most. I have the worst headache right now. I woke up with one, i should've ate something yesterday. That's the damn problem. I didn't eat at all yesterday. I didn't have time to. Well actually i did but i just decided not to. That's one thing about me don hates.

I decide not to eat. I don't say i have an eating disorder, i most likely just starve myself. I got up out of bed and dragged my way to the kitchen. I grabbed some eggos out the freezer and put two in the toaster. I leaned up against my counter and went back on my phone.

daij❤️
eat something please

aww he's worried. cute, but fuck him. i texted him back, actually.

i am dw, mi amor. thanks for worrying abt me.

Sometimes me and don can go about a whole week without talking to each other, and it's usually me texting him after that whole week. If you liked someone so muchhh! i expect you to at least try to put effort in to text them. his excuse is always, "i was busy" or so some shit like that. i know he's talking to other girls and messing with them. it bothers me a lot, but shit it's life.

The eggos finally finished. i put my phone on the counter and put them on the plate. i poured some syrup on them, i cut up a banana and placed them each nicely on the eggo, then added a few pecans. i'm trying to make them seem healthy when i know damn well i'm gonna gain a whole pound after i eat this. I poured some strawberry milk and went back to my room. i put my glass on the nightstand next to my bed and food on the bed. i took a picture of it and posted it on my story. yeah i'm that type. but at the same time i haven't posted anything in a week in a half., and that just ain't like me.

i started eating my food while looking at old pictures of me and daij on the wall. i knew him for bout a year, we only started being friends because on his bestfriend liked me, trademark. yeah crazy i know, ever since trademark brought me around dc just fucked with me. he always thought i was pretty but didn't want to get with me because trademark had feelings for me at the time.

since he let dc "have me" we been at it since then. that lowkey makes it sound like they're running a train on me. i can't. me and dc exchanged nudes once, might sound crazy but we did. he was high as a motherfucker one night and asked if i wanted to trade nudes. at first i said no but he just sent a picture of his dick. so i sent titty pictures back.
he told me he doesn't even remember that night, so i don't feel as bad as i usually would. I'm just scared to give it up to him, especially with all i've been through in my past , by being sexually abused by my dad and shit. i'm just straight up scared to "give it up " to any man and dc understands that...

dc laid on my stomach and looked at me. "why can't we have sex?" he said and grabbed my hand.

"because i don't feel like it," i smiled.

"stopp, i'm serious,"

I moved my hand and played with my hair. "i'm just scared you're gonna hurt me or some shit,"

"what makes you think that?" he asked.

my eyes started getting watery. "shit, long story..." i mumbled and hesitated to tell him. "my dad use to rape me and shit before i got taken away and sent with my grandma," i finally say, with a knot in my stomach. don sat up a bit and cleared his throat. i nervously smiled. "it's fine, i wouldn't know what to say either."

"i'm sorry, rai," he mumbled...

my eyes began to tear up again. I wiped my eyes and got up to take my dishes to the kitchen. i put them in the sink. i'll wash them tonight or some shit. i put water in them just in case i don't and mold start growing or some shit.

I should really be like those people who just have paper and plastic everything. my life would be so much easier. i looked through my clothes. i had a photoshoot today, for this brand, i honestly forgot the name. i'm not gonna say i'm only in it for the money but they do pay good, so i might be in it for the money.

I picked out an outfit they sent me and put the rest in my bag. I went to the bathroom and ran the shower. i looked at my phone and sat on the floor.

daij❤️
i'm sorry for getting mad at u over that dumb shit, can i take you to your photoshoot? if you ain't mad anymore.

i smiled a bit.

yeahhh, i guess, i'm not "mad" anymore.
i put my phone down and got up. i went to the bathroom and hopped my ass in the shower. i got out, blow dried my hair and everything else and got dressed. ion think y'all need a full on explanation. once i finished getting ready and shit i checked my phone again, three messages from him.

daij❤️
alright bet.
IM OMW
hi, i'm here, come downstairs.

I laugh at his messages and start heading downstairs. he is literally so fucking cute. I cannot. i waved the the owner of the apartments and went to his car. "open the damn car, and you always wonder why i'm mad," i yell. he unlocks the door and i get in.

"i didn't see you,"

"maybe if you didn't think you was a top tier 10 times celebrity your windows wouldn't be tinted that dark." i put my seat belt on and got comfortable.

Don put his head back and laughed. "bro, it ain't like that, i just wanted them that dark, it looks cool,"

"omg, donny you're so cool," i laugh.

"fuck you,"

"i love you more,"—

i ended up taking all the photos in one day and then me and don went out to eat, something real quick. and no, no kiss yet. i know he wanted to one time but i pushed him away and made an excuse. thinking back at it, it's really funny. don grabbed my hand while i was walking back into my apartment building. "i love you, Rai,"

"i love you too," he hugged me and gave me a kiss on my head. i got butterflies. "don," i mumbled.

"wassup?" he let go of me.

"when are we actually going to be official? i can't keep doing this i claim you shit or whatever,"

he smiled a bit and then his smile faded. "i don't know," he mumbled. "shit, you don't even wanna have sex,"

"and? you don't have to be in a relationship just to have sex? unless you're christian or whatever,"

he sucked his teeth. i sucked them back. he held my hands. "what i mean is that we haven't even did all that shit, like even kiss.

"ok, kiss me right now,"

Don leaned in. i leaned back. He kissed me slowly. his lips are so damn soft. i got more butterflies than i had before. "again," i mumbled. he kissed me again. "one more time," i said . he kissed me one more time then moved back.

i looked at him in his eyes. he looked back. he laughed nervously. "it's getting dark,"

"i enjoyed that as well," i smiled.

"stop acting like you got more balls than me," he laughed. "i love you so much, rai, i'll think about making it "official"."

"fuck off don," i laughed and started walking away. "i love you moreee," i yelled out.