Birthdays!

The Missing You Birthday

Seri's birthday, her first after their reunion in Switzerland

So, here it was, her birthday. Another birthday alone, except this birthday she knew for sure he would be thinking about her, loving her from afar. She rolled over in bed, stretching an arm across the other side, thinking how magical it could be if he was there, how wonderful it had been having those two precious weeks together.

Last summer, he had found her at last. A memory still so vivid, even though it was months ago now, that she knew it would always be a memory she would carry in her heart. He had found her; he had brought her into his arms; they had kissed, and finally they had made love. And they had promised each other to meet again and again. She hugged herself in a ball, thinking back to their joy, his wonderful combination of shyness and bold passion when they had come together. She had never experienced the meaning of love-making until then.
How did this man gain as much from her as she received from him? How had she made him complete in the same way as he made her feel? At first, their connection had mystified her. What was it in her soul that had touched his? Somehow she had helped him move forward in his life, opened him up to his music again. When they had first met, she hadn't understood how he had locked away the most beautiful part of himself, how there was so much more than the quiet, brave and kind man before her. Perhaps by taking care of her, saving her, he saved himself too. The Jeong-hyeok she had found again in Switzerland was the same loving, caring man she already knew, but he was even more. Bolder, more open, happier with himself and looking to the future; and he had promised that she would always be at the heart of his future.

All she knew now was that she wanted to be worth his love and would love him back with the same intensity and commitment as he showed to her. While they had each other, neither of them could ever be alone again.

But how she missed him! She picked up the pillow at her side and hugged it tight, wishing it could be him she hugged instead. So hard to say goodbye, even as they'd reassured each other that it wasn't goodbye, only a separation until next time. Knowing they had those two weeks to come would sustain her, but sometimes the waiting was so painful.

He had given her a gift when they parted. It's for your birthday, he'd said. Keep it safe 'til then. And she had. It had been a source of comfort, something to look forward to. Something from him that wasn't as far away as another year. She had placed it in her wardrobe and now and then she would pick it up, wonder what was inside and where and when he bought it. As well as being a tender reminder of him, it reinforced her hopes for their future. Just holding the box in her hands was enough to reassure her that he loved her. And today was the day she could finally find out what was inside.

She put on her robe and went to her dressing room, and picked it up, bringing it back to her bed. She cradled the gift-wrapped box, turning it around in her hands, wondering for the hundredth time what might be inside. It wasn't heavy, but it felt as if there was something of substance inside. The box was long and thin and not very deep. Too big to be an item of jewellery, too small to be an item of clothing. She had spent many hours wondering about it, hugging her secret present as something to look forward to. Now, the moment was here.