Birthdays!

My Wife's Birthday

Seoul, the year following their marriage in Switzerland

My wife.

It still felt amazing that he could call her that. Maybe it always would. Marrying Seri had been the stuff of dreams, and one that he had rarely allowed himself to think about. It had seemed too exquisite a dream and impossible to achieve. But they had done it and the last few months had been heavenly.

Jeong-hyeok flexed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited at traffic lights on the busy Seoul highway. Unconsciously, he was tracing the piano keys for the opening bars of the sonata he was working on, but he wasn't thinking about his music. He was thinking about Seri.

It would be her birthday in a few weeks. Sharing her birthday together felt magical, and then it would be his own soon after. And these would be their first birthdays together from a lifetime of birthdays. The last few years he had marked her day, thinking about her and hoping that she was enjoying it. Wishing he could be there too. Loving her from afar. Now, her first birthday as his wife.

As the lights changed and the traffic started to move again, he realised he was grinning like a fool.

Idiot!

Well, why not? We deserve to be happy!

Maybe, but concentrate on the traffic now.

He sighed, and pulled his mind away from thoughts of her smile, her laugh, her look of love and tenderness towards him.

After a few hundred metres, the traffic came to another halt again. This time, though, it wasn't happy thoughts that distracted him.

Her birthday.

How could he make it special?

He didn't know.

What could you buy the woman who already had so much? Who was so wealthy that she could treat herself whenever she felt like it? What could you buy your wife, when all your money was actually hers? He felt he had come to terms much more with the inequality of their financial standing. He didn't brood about it. But to buy her a present, when he had no source of income of his own, hurt. And his own birthday would be soon after. Seri had already dropped a hint that she had something special in mind as a present for him. Special, to Seri, might mean expensive. Then, whatever he did for her would feel inadequate. He sighed, released the brake, and pulled off again into the stream of cars.

As he continued his journey to the music academy to practice with his mentor, Nam Seohyun, he brooded on the problem. He'd been thinking about it for over a week, but hadn't found the answer. He'd tried to talk to Seri about it last night. She had tried to reassure him she wasn't expecting much, telling him that his being with her was birthday present enough. But it didn't feel like enough. He wanted to demonstrate how much he loved, how much he appreciated her. He wanted a gift that she would feel was special. Something that would mark this phase in their lives together. It was frustrating.

At the Academy, his practice with Nam Seohyun didn't go as well as he hoped. He had been making good progress, channeling his emotions into his music in the way he wanted. His mentor was usually encouraging and last week, she had hinted that he might be ready to perform soon. Today, though, she was disappointed, and he was frustrated with himself. His music was how he could repay Seri for all her support to him; he wanted to succeed for her sake, as well as his own. He must do better.

On the way home, he took a detour. He felt he needed some fresh air and exercise and to be away from the city a little. He loved the space, the freedom, of hiking in the hills and mountains. It always seemed to help him think or just free his mind. Focusing on the climbing and the distraction of the stunning views that a walk rewarded him with seemed to open up new possibilities or give him perspective. At this time of year, and this time of day, he would need to settle for a nearby peak. In the January cold, few citizens were about at the base of the hill leading to the North Seoul tower. He ignored the cable car; it was exercise he needed to walk away his frustration. He started the hike to the top. Some steps were slippery, but it did not put him off. As he climbed, he breathed in the cold sharp air, tightening his chest, but the pace he was setting himself kept his body warm.